Thinking of something that made me feel sad or disappointed isn't too hard anymore. It hasn't been hard since October 7th, 2008. It's something that's made me feel sad, disappointed, confused, depressed, guilty, and similar feelings.

I feel guilty because I know if I was there, and I knew about what was going on I easily could've stopped him. And most people are like 'Well, how are you so sure?.' Well, because I've stopped him once before. We were talking and he was saying how he was going to go jump off the Bucksport bridge, and in about an hour and a half, maybe two hours, I got him to change his mind. This time, it probably would've been a little bit harder, but I still think I could've done it.

October 7th could probably be classified as the worst day of my life. I'm only 14, almost 15, but I'm pretty sure it was worst day ever, and always will be.

Its been 6 months, and I'm still not over it. I still don't believe that it happened, I still hear his voice, and see his face. I wake up in the middle of the night, from nightmares of him.

6 months ago, October 7th, the thing that made me feel sad or disappointed. My best friend committed suicide. I remember the day I found out, like it was yesterday. I couldn't stop crying. I heard about the teen jumping off the Penobscot Narrows Bridge, in Bucksport, but I had absolutely no idea that it was someone I know, let alone one of my most best friends in the world. A person I loved, and trusted, and knew me better than I knew myself.

I don't exactly think that I need to explain why this made me feel sad or disappointed, because I'm sure it's pretty self-explanitory. But this is the top thing that's made me both sad AND disappointed.

I didn't get any reasons why, no answers to questions that I have, no explanations. Nothing. I couldn't stand watching the news, reading about it in the paper. I can't stand sleeping, constant dreams reminding me of him. I have trouble concentrating sometimes. His birthday is April 18th. Which is very soon. It's not going to be a very good day.

This is a very personal experience, and I've never written about it for school. It's something that's really close to my heart, and I wanted to share it. Also, this is what I wrote about because I couldn't think of anything else that made me sad or disappointed, because this was all I could think of. Clouding my mind, reminding me of that day... The day I lost my best friend.

This is something that I never expected to happen to me. I'm sure most people don't but still. I never in a million years thought something like this would happen.