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Marked.
This is something that should not happen to teenagers. To children, to adults, to anyone.
Depression should not happen.
I was eight when I learned about suicide. I went to Church Camp when I was twelve- that's where I learned about cutting.
I was thirteen when I had my first taste of dispair. I was fourteen when I gave in to the emotional pain, and let it out through physical. It was only a paper clip, only two small scratches on my arm.
It was only the beginning.
I spent that next year cutting quietly with a Biq Razer I'd broken in half. My mother found it, and my intense, secret, hateful feelings on life. And she did absolutely nothing.
I stole two of my mother's prescribed pain killers when I was fifteen. I spent those next twelve hours throwing up my burning insides.
I had a headache, yes. But the pain inside of me was hushed, if only for a while.
The next week, I stole only one.
Today, I am sixteen. I am still depressed, I am still giving in every once and a while, and I still have not found help.
"Help" in my opinion, is the written word.
"Help" is knowing that I'm not alone... all the time.
"Help" may not be Jesus, or meds, or my mom, or my best friend- who by the way, can't stand me or my sadness any longer.
"Help" is knowing that someday, I won't be completely whole, but I will be almost as perfect as even you.
I will spend the rest of my life with those firey, red marks on my thighs... but you know what?
What I didn't kill myself with made me stronger.
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This article has 14 comments.
please read it.
The same is for you, what ever your circumstances are.
I am writing something right now; I'm so glad and humbled to find that this simple article has helped or related to people. :) I want to help even more.
she wasn't trying to be negative; she was expressing what she felt about stealing prescription drugs and cutting, as she's experienced both. she wasn't rude. :]
Starting off lightly at first,
then your thirst drives it deeper and deeper each time.
I wish I could get help. But there are untold things that are going to stay that way.
Good luck, hon. (:
Be who you KNOW you are.