Feedback on "unspoken words" | Teen Ink

Feedback on "unspoken words"

January 13, 2015
By MundaneSoul SILVER, New York City, New York
MundaneSoul SILVER, New York City, New York
8 articles 0 photos 0 comments

              "unspoken words" by Mercedes Ramanathan definitely lives up to the phrase, "short and sweet." This amazing poem managed to sum up love in only three meaningful lines. It tells of a heartbreaking romance, of yearning and of despair. An entire story is eloquently spun in these fifteen words. It is the tragic story of someone unable to be with the one they love, and yet still longing for the unattainable. Despite whatever obstacle that stands between the two, sparks still fly when they are with one another.

              I absolutely loved the lines, "being with you is like striking a match/ in the rain." Mercedes takes an action that would normally be perceived as ridiculous, and through her words, manages to weave it into something with a deeper and more significant meaning. The unspoken message in Mercedes's words was delivered flawlessly. Love is a powerful thing, described as "both unreasonable and impossible." And though it may be irrational, you can't stop yourself from falling in love. In the poem, as doomed as his or her love might've been, the attraction between them just could not be denied.

              I've never been a huge fan of poetry, but thank you, Mercedes, for lighting that match for me.



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Mercy0414 GOLD said...
on Jul. 25 2015 at 7:35 pm
Mercy0414 GOLD, Miramar, Florida
16 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
"I welcomed his hate inside of me, because mine needed company."

Thank you so much. This means the world to me:)