What are attention seekers? According to Oxford dictionary, it’s attempting to attract the attention of other people, typically by disruptive or excessively extrovert behavior. When some of the general public think of self-harm, what do they think about? They think about angst-ridden teenagers who cut themselves to get the attention around them. Why? I guess with modern media, it would make some sense. I mean, Justin Bieber smoked or something, and twelve-year old girls are going around cutting themselves. But people have legitimate reasons to cut themselves.

In broad estimates, about two to three million people show some sort of self-abusive behaviors, but that includes eating disorders, and those who injure themselves. In the U.S., it’s estimated that around one in every two hundred girls between thirteen and nineteen years of age cut themselves regularly. About seventy percent of reported cutting incidents are teen girls. Also, over the past couple of years, the number of cutting cases is on the rise, and those who don’t seek treatment continue the behavior until into their adult years.
When parents learn that their child is cutting, what would they think? I asked both my parents what they would think if either my brother or I started self-harming. My mother said, “I would think I’m not a good mom, and that I let them down. I would be sad, and that you should have come to me.” When I asked her what she would do is, “We would go to a doctor, and do research, and see how we can help them.” My dad, on the other hand, said that “I’d be very concerned, and I would feel like I failed them. I’d talk to them, to understand why they are doing this, and I’d tried to guide them on the importance of life, and I’d be very sad.” When I asked him what he’d do, he said, “I will take the kids out from a daily routine, and I would spend time talking to them, and trying to find the root cause.” But that’s my family.

What another website said is that when their child is cutting, the parents typically begin blaming themselves. Therapists say that when parents blame themselves, it’s useless to do so. It also reminds the parents that you shouldn’t just tell your child to stop cutting, but to treat the underlying problem, and allows the teen to get more skills to cope with problems. They say that you shouldn’t react with anger, and to not go into denial. You can’t assume that it’s just a phase, and don’t ask what you yourself as a parent did wrong. It won’t help your child. Don’t ask the child/adult why they are doing this to themselves, and don’t hide sharp objects. If the child really wants to harm him or herself, they will find a way.

Now, what you should do is admit your child needs help. It is vital to take the problem seriously, and to realize this is not just an attention-seeking behavior. You also have to be completely supportive, and immediately seek treatment for your child. This next part is my opinion though: You have to realize cutting is sort of an addiction. You can’t assume it’s something that takes a few minutes to get over, or a couple of weeks of therapy. It’s an addiction. Those kids crave the pain or the blood. They want to feel the adrenaline the pain gives them. I don’t know why, but it feels good to them. It makes them feel less unwanted, but also makes the depression last longer. During seventh grade, I tried it. Once, I somewhat actually formed a small cut, but the next day, I felt this emptiness inside. So, I stopped, because I figured, what injuring myself would do to solve my problems. Problem solved in two days, because I didn’t have a big problem.

However, cutting is not the only way to inflict self-harm. Another things people do is scratching/pinching, impact with objects, impact with oneself, ripped skin, carving, interfering with healing, burning, rubbing objects into the skin, and hair pulling. Scratching or pinching is when severely scratching or pinching yourself with your fingernails. Impact with objects is when you bang yourself against something or punching objects to the point of bruising or bleeding. Impact with oneself is basically banging or punching yourself to the point of bruising or bleeding. Ripped skin is ripping or tearing skin. Carving is when a person carves words or symbols into the skin, and is different than cutting. Interfering with healing is when you pick on scabs, and basically delay the healing process. Burning is just burning your skin. Rubbing objects into skin is when you rub yourself with sharp objects such as glass. Hair pulling is medically known as trichotillomania, which is when the person feels compelled to pull out their own hair, and in some cases, to ingest it.

A myth about people who self-injure is that they want attention, when in reality they try to keep it a secret. People also think that people who self-injure are also suicidal, or want to die, but in reality, people who self-injure actually do that to cope with their pain, and is a way to let them know that they are still alive. People also think that if the wound isn’t that bad, it’s not important. But it is important. You think people who cut so deep that they were hospitalized started off cutting that hard? No, they didn’t. They started off with small cuts, because that’s how everyone starts off. It is always important. Self-harm helps because, “It expresses emotional pain or feelings that I’m unable to put into words,” or, “It’s a way to have control over my body because I can’t control anything else in my life.” There are a lot more reasons, but just know that people do not injure themselves for no reason. Everyone has a reason.

What would you do if someone you knew was cutting then? I’ve told you what to and what not to say, but nothing about what you can do. The first thing is, never assume that they don’t need a professional. It’s not fair to them, if you think you can fix it by yourself, to do that. They won’t get the help they need, and, if something happens to them, you’d blame yourself. There are many groups you can call, or chat with. For example, there is the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, at U.S, or the Befrienders Worldwide, anywhere else. There are places that don’t add it to your phone bill, just so kids could get the support and won’t have to talk to their parents about, because talking to your parents if you’re cutting is scary, and that’s not a lie.

People who self-harm are not attention seekers. They are not being overdramatic, or having first world problems. Self-harm isn’t easy to get over. Self-harmers are people who do this to feel alive, or to have power in a world where they feel they don’t have power. Self-harming is an addiction of some sort. You can’t just put down the blade, or lighter, or just stop cutting yourself on command. It takes more effort, and you have to have support. And if you go to middle school and up, you probably have self-harmers in your school, too. It might be the most unexpected people. But those people are still there. So get rid of those misconceptions, and let them know that they are not alone.
 
Works Cited
"Attention-Seeking." Oxford Dictionary. N.p.: Oxford UP, 2014. N. pag. Print.
"Cutting and Self-Harm." Help Guide. Helpguide.org, n.d. Web. 11 Dec. 2014. .
"Cutting Statistics and Self-Injury Treatment." Teen Help. Teen Help, 2014. Web. 11 Dec. 2014. .
Tracy, Natasha. "10 Ways People Self-Harm, Self-Injure." Healthyplace America's Mental Health Channel. HealthyPlace.com, Inc., 2014. Web. 11 Dec. 2014. .