I didn`t put much thought to it. To be honest I didn`t even expected that moment to happen. The time just flew right through me. And before I knew it, I was actually hugging him. Feeling so embarrassed I blushed and my cheeks went a rosy color he even gave me a sweet tender kiss at my cheeks.....I could have sworn I was totally preoccupied that I knelt down at my own house admitting a sign of weakness.





It was on the early 80`s or 90`s that my dad proposed to my mom and they`ve been living together for 14 years now....which would also make me a 14-yr. old girl. A 14 yr. old girl who`s confused about mix emotions and others.



I could never imagine the torture it would hit to my parents when they would know about my secret crush. I’m a girl and hypothetically speaking no one could ever escape the path of temptation a certain guy could give you. Nope, that was way beyond my expectations.



I was just having a chat with my new BFF`s at the lounge of the school until I noticed this certain guy. Wearing a light -colored “Lacoste” t-shirt and faded denim jeans, he was amazing. More importantly he was hot. Weird sense of clothing but he really knows how to wear it confidently. I mean could you could say he was the “hunk”. Seeing how he walked so swiftly it took all my concentration not to drool in front of him.



As he swooped down to the main door he caught my eye and shot a nice warm smile. I smiled back (weakly). Gosh! I didn’t know someone like him existed. He was new. He was different and definitely unique. Because of him I got a new reason to keep going to school aside from the endless tests and oral recitations. But when he`s around I couldn’t help but try my best to get the right answer from every harsh question my teacher gave me. You could say I was inspired but I was considering the concept of making a great "impression" to him.



He talked and socialized to my other classmates. He even made our teacher smile because of his endless jokes. He was so cool and very interesting to meet with. All of the girls had their chances in flirting with him. But it seems as though none of the girls were apparently good enough for him. Not even our proud muse got a chance. Hmmm…I wonder, not that I might have a chance to it….but what kind of girl does he actually like?



My, too much eavesdropping to his conversations made me wonder every night. I know it was too low for me to do that. But I can’t seem to help myself. He was just too much of a figure to let go.



And then it occurred to me that everyone was looking at me. ME? I shouted to myself. Why had all the eyes turned on me? All those black and brown almond-shaped eyes were staring at me. Some of the girls even grinned at me….and what was that? I could`ve sworn our muse shot a gaze at me….not an ordinary gaze. But a gaze filled with jealousy?



I sniffed my hair and my armpits if I smelled bad. I looked at my compact to see if I had vegetable between my teeth or if my lip gloss and blush was too thick. But results said no. No vegetables and no make up out of order. My hair wasn’t even messy because I did my hair over an hour ago and it can’t possibly my dress because I was wearing our school uniform.



Before I dared to ask anyone what was wrong. Someone shouted at me…..


“Hey miss!”



I turned around and I saw him. Those cute brown eyes were staring at me and that sweet lips were forming a smile at me. I didn’t know what to do aside from to look at him with awe.


“Um… I’m sorry if I startled you but…you drop your hanky earlier…”
The guy said with complete fondness of my stammer.



I tried to recall the time when I lost my hanky and then I remembered. I dropped it at the edge of the school admin. When he arrived, when he shot a smile at me…ugh! I was too mesmerized to remember it.



Not aware of what’s next I took the hanky. Nod, and forced a smile at him. I was kind of offended when he laughed. But then…he said….


“And don’t worry you don’t smell bad…actually that hanky of yours smells nice.”



So he saw my early evaluation when the whole student body came and stared at me. Figures…. I got the impression that he was really observant since he mentioned that my handkerchief smelled nice. That made me smile a bit.



His name was simple but it fitted him. He was open to me. And because of that I began spilling out everything to him. As in everything, from my 3-yr. old birthday that I swam right into the pool and lost my tiny skirt to my13 yr. old birthday that I completely forgot….I can`t recall why I said everything to him when I don’t even know the guy yet….but he was easy to talk to and I’m surprised he was even interested to listen…



After that “incident” he began to talk to me a little often now. And then one time he actually asked me out. My first reaction was… “Huh? Well, that’s a first”. The guy actually asked me out, out of all the girls in the campus it had to be me not that it was a bad thing it was just so, so impossible to be a real. How could this god be somewhat interested in me? Everything happened so fast and I was surprised that I didn’t felt lost. Then I realized that I was stronger than I presumed and that I could keep up with him. His eyes were mesmerizing that you could easily get lost. But I was astonished that he never gave up on me.



And then it occurred to me…What if he`s just like all the other guys, what if he was just playing around with me and after the time comes he`ll just break my heart just like what they did to my other friends. I don’t know what to believe anymore… the logical explanation that he is just anther guy who is ready to break someone`s heart…or the impossible truth that I was really falling in love with this guy….



All this thinking was making my whole life crazy…. At times when I go out with him I felt happy and at ease but at the back of my mind there`s a black shadow who`s yelling at me… “ENOUGH!” I don’t know what to do anymore, the undeniable truth that my heart keeps saying is to go for it…but how can I do it if my brain keeps telling me to stop?



I`ve watched movies concerning these shall I say problems... but it all results to a perfect phrase…. to “follow your heart”…. To believe in what your heart tells you…



After all of this I finally gave in…love is a difficult opponent to fight with…losing is never an option for this magical feeling. When all is lost…it’s the only thing that’s left that you can never take. Embracing is the only way….Yes, when you love you must be prepared to be hurt there is no escape to that excuse…but it is also impossible to love without being hurt , without having sacrifices…



That is why when I finally heard those perfect words “I love you” in his soft and thin lips. I had no second doubts. I have already thought this true…



Confusions, complications and mix ups were all gone when I responded to him
“I love you”…..