My sixth grade teacher, the late Mr. Kosier, was extremely passionate about the Civil Rights movement in the sixties. He would show us documentaries, and he made us do a large project about a particular event from the movement. Judging by the way he would talk about it, I figured he was probably a huge supporter of the movement during the sixties. As a class, we watched numerous documentaries of Black Americans giving their accounts of the hardships they suffered. I remember thinking how if I was there, I (as a straight white man) would have stood up against the racist people.

This same thought occurred to me again later in life, during the eighth grade when my teacher showed us a dramatized retelling of the Little Rock Nine. However, it was then that I truly thought about how I normally treat conflicts like that. I realized that I would have probably remained quiet during a standoff between African-Americans and racist whites. I knew it wouldn’t be because I’m racist, I know I wouldn’t have joined the crowd of hate. This thought haunted me for days, and the more I thought about it, the more I was certain I would’ve done nothing to help those persecuted people. The thought of all the times I’ve said or did nothing in times of racism or persecution started to creep back into my brain, and I began wondering why I said and did absolutely nothing. 

The conclusion I arrived at was that as a straight white male in America, society teaches us that it is not our place to interject ourselves into people’s issues, that if we stand up against persecution we get seen as a pariah or get mocked. Often there is the idea of being seen as someone who is simply trying not to appear as a bad guy, that when we help it is charity, something we do only to make ourselves feel better. Furthermore, because we have never experienced persecution, we have no concept of what it actually means to be persecuted, and how much it means to if someone steps in and helps.

One of the biggest reasons for a lack of intervention by straight white men is that society makes it seem “unnatural” when that happens. The issue is the fact that was during the largest civil rights movement in American history, that of the 1960s, the racism was so strong in many white men that it became a stereotype. The voices of hate drowned out the voices of allies to the Civil Rights Movement who were white men. Add on to this the fact that when most people think of a white male ally in the Civil Rights Movement, most people see a shaggy looking guy apart of the hippy movement. This is a problem, as it is hard for a present day young caucasian man, like me, to identify himself in a person that only reminds of a time gone by.

Obviously, the two stereotypes of hippies and racist southerners being the only two categories of all straight white men from the era of the Civil Rights Movement doesn’t ring true. For example, my grandfather always loves to tell about how he attended the March on Washington while he was a lawyer in the D.C. area. However, I’m all but certain that I would not have been like my grandfather. I know this because I think about the recent events from my lifetime, and how when I think about the wage gap, gender equality, and all the other problems in America and the world and how I did nothing.

One reason I do nothing is because it’s simply so much easier to be passive. This is probably the biggest reason why I never help clearly just causes. Even an issue as cut and dry as climate change, I still did nothing during recent walk outs and have done nothing about it ever. Even though I know it is a huge problem, and it might actually be the end of the world, I stood motionless. Going out and protesting is something one has to go out of their way to do. When faced with opportunity, it becomes so simple to not reject the opportunity, rather, never capitalize on it.

Another difficulty I find is being vocal, or putting my beliefs out there for anyone to see and judge. For example, I have a friend (who will remain nameless), that I know is an anti-Trump, primarily left-wing person. However, he often makes slightly racist and homophobic jokes. I realized he does this as to not alienate anyone, which sounds crazy as racist and homophobic jokes have a great success rate at alienating people. But this guy only makes those jokes when he is surrounded by a crowd that either knows he is not really like that (that’s usually me), or someone who will like those jokes and will like him more for it. He is trying to get every group of people to like him, trying to appear like he agrees with everyone.

This leads to arguably the stupidest reason of no bystander intervention, that being the fear of becoming a social pariah. When a situation of persecution or discrimination arises, the idea of stepping in is quickly shut down by how that might appear. It’s surprisingly easy to think that any white male bystander is automatically seen as uptight. That when talking to that person everything said needs to be monitored for anything that might come off as even slightly racist or discriminatory, in order to avoid that person screaming for five minutes straight.

When it comes to a discussion involving race, the dialogue is often very unproductive. Part of this is that a truly open dialogue is nearly impossible without a heated confrontation. Furthermore, nowadays confrontation is usually viewed as an inherently bad thing. Obviously confrontation that results in a physical altercation or anything of the sort is bad, but confrontation is an integral part of an open discussion. Without a little confrontational wording there is no way, for a vocal argument to get across.

In addition, it is commonly feared that any interjection into a heated racial dispute between two people will end up backfiring. Say, the person attempting to help gets yelled at because the persecuted victim is a prideful person that believes the intervening bystander is belittling them. Furthermore, there is also a fear that instead of helping, the bystander only worsens the situation for the victim by only making the aggressor angrier. Now, instead of helping the dispute come to a speedy end, the bystander has only made the situation much worse.

No matter how much it is portrayed or how much it is described, a straight white man will simply never understand being persecuted simply by appearance. Sure, persecution can occur due to economic standing or religion, however, a straight white man will never be persecuted in America simply for the color of his skin. Due to this lack of persecution, a white man cannot look at a black man being called racial slurs and truly understand what that feels like. They can try to imagine that feeling all they want, but they can not understand being called names or being put down simply for the way they were born. In turn, that same white man can not know how much a little help would be appreciated. How thankful they’d be for the intervention of a bystander that the racist aggressor will actually listen to, because the aggressor will likely listen to anyone with the same skin color.

The lack of bystander intervention from straight white men during conflicts of race/discrimination can be attested to numerous reasons. However, none of these reasons remotely justifies a nonresponse during a conflict involving discrimination. One can say they did not act because it’s easier not to, or that they didn’t know how bad discrimination of something they were born with felt, or even that they didn’t wanna seem like a social pariah. But, truly nothing is a worthy enough response to the question of why there was no reaction. Whatever reason they cite, what they’re really saying is that they didn’t care enough to stand up and stand with that victim of racism. That the victim’s emotions and well-being don’t matter enough to warrant any help, and that is the true problem in the culture of straight white men.