I’ll Never Forget You


Th –Th – Thud. Th – Thud. Th – Th – Thud.

I turned left at Crestwood and Dawn Avenue. I could hear my heart racing in my ears. I didn’t know where I was heading, just that I needed to keep moving – running or walking I needed to move – to get away. Away from all the tears and sadness I left behind at home. I’m extremely rundown from thought. Weird right?! Well we’ll see about that –

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Finally it’s Friday and first bell rings catching me in the middle of notes. As I head for art, I chat with Jess and Becca. I’m greeted by the teacher and set off on my own. I get my project and take an opening at the dim lit table in the back with Alex and Missy. We evaluate each other’s creations…they’re really good! Alex’s clay hand looks really good – it looks like it would reach out and grab you by the collar of your shirt. Missy’s portrait looks exactly like her right down to the dimple on her left cheek!! My sketch of Ed’s run-down barn is coming – slowly, but it is coming. The loudspeaker cracks. I’m sent to the office with no idea of what lies ahead. What did I do? Why? I don’t think I did anything seriously wrong… or did I? Expecting the worst is coming, I slowly open the gigantic golden oak door to the principal’s office. I have never been in here before.

“We’re sending you home. Your mother is on her way as we speak. She’d rather be the one to break the news,” Mr. Carter explained. Mr. Carter, as old as he was, had a large amount of hair on top of his matured head. Mr. Carter was actually pretty cool – he pitched at our school’s annual Kick Ball Tournament and liked to come to basketball games and such.

I nod and wait…and wait… and wait. It’s only been five minutes but it feels like more than half an hour has passed. Finally, my mom storms in, straight to my chair, and holds me as she starts sobbing. She summarizes it all in the matter of two short minutes. Ha-ha!! What? Come on!! Okay… I give up…what’s the real reason you’re here?? Was this some sort of sick joke??

“Monica’s… dead??” my voice cracked as I said those chocking words. A million questions raced through my head at once. How? Why? When? But we…

“Why?” I asked.

“I don’t…they don’t … they’re not positive they know everything yet,” she confessed.

We drove home in silence. As soon as the car slowed down enough in the driveway, I jumped out and sprinted to my room. As I waited for the computer to start up, I tried to rid my head of the information I was just told. I was not going to believe it!
You Have One New Message the computer read back. I stumbled toward the computer monitor. It was dated yesterday at 4:53 p.m. – from Monica. I was hesitant to open it – a simple recipe for tears and all sadness to find its way back in, but I had to – we were best friends. I froze into a selfless statue.
It’s not getting any better. Gonna fix that soon enough tho. U there? Need to talk. Please hurry ASAP!!
~ Moni 

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How could I? I could have stopped her!! Huge waves of guilt spill in me. I try to focus on my breathing… not distracting me enough to knock me out of the never ending circle of “If only…”’s.
I take all back roads on my epic run – school will be letting out soon. However I’m not alone, as much as I had hoped, on my run. There’s a young girl on her father’s shoulders, other runners, and a dog pulling a boy on a skateboard behind him.
“Hey guys, wait, hold up!”someone requested. “Hey Emily!!” There was not enough money in the whole world to make me turn and see who was calling me. I needed to keep moving. I wished not to talk – only run.
“Hey! Dude, Emily! Slow down! Emily, wait up would ya?” he beckoned.
Do NOT Stop. Do NOT Stop. Do NOT Stop.
Footsteps trudging against the black top were growing closer now.
“HEY!! What? Are the cops chasin ya er something? Slow down would ya?! Please Ems!” To his advantage, I slowed and he caught up. My head snapped back at him the moment I felt something holding my shoulder. Landen?
“Hey…what…what’s…what’s going on?? Are you okay Sparky?” he asked between breaths. He looked at me trying to answer it himself.
“Hey now…come awn. We’re friends right? You can tell me,” he assured.
“Friends?” I let my voice accidentally squeak.
“Yea. Aren’t we?”
I can only nod. How pathetic!
“Come awn. I won’t tell. I promise…please,” he begged.
And that’s all it took. I let everything inside of me pour out. I leaned into his open arms and cried.
“I’m sorry. I don’t …It’s just…” I began.
“No no. It’s fine,” he reassured me, “So… too soon to ask what happened?”
I stepped back and examined the proof of what emotions I had just let go. A small laugh exited.
“What?” he asked.
“Oh no,” I cleared my throat trying to hold back more laughs. “It’s nothing.” Another small laugh slipped.
“Do I get to hear the joke too?” he questioned.
“No… It’s just that…well…your shirt. It looks like you and the water fountain got into a bit of an argument,” I explained.
He tugged on his shirt and examined the tear-stained splotch.
“Well wadda you know!” he laughed. He smiled back at me and I wanted to melt in his arms again. “Would you like to finish the job on the opposite side? I know how girls need to have everything match before they do anything,” he teased.
“No, I think I’m fine for now…and sorry bout that,” I replied not looking at him. If I did, I would tell him everything and probably just end up crying again. He could still notice I was lying.
“What is it Em?” his face suddenly turned serious. Opting to change the subject I added…
“What time is it?”
“I’m not sure but -” he started.
“I’ve got to go. I’ve gotta go home. She’s probably freaked enough already. I…I’ve g -” I said faster.
“Who?” he asked.
“My mom,” I answered. “I have to -”
“NO! It’s okay. I’ll walk you home,” he suggested. As much as I wanted to be alone, having someone with me, especially Landen, kept me a little distracted.
Landen knew the whole story by the time we reached the creaky porch steps. Mom came running to the window beside the door. I hate it when she does that!! I turned to get the door handle.
“I’ll be praying for you Emily, I hope to see you again Sunday,” he winked and started down the walkway. As I watched him disappear around the trees, I thought about church. Truth was, I seriously didn’t know if I really wanted to go Sunday – it would bring everything back again. Would you?