Do you remember when you were a toddler? Most of us remember things after we turn 3, although new research suggests some children have childhood amnesia after age 7. Of course, as you age, you will forget things in your life by accident; they simply drift from your memory. Some memories stick with you; my mom, who is in her 40s, can still remember having chicken pox when she was 5 five years. 

But sometimes, you willingly forget memories. These are known as repressed memories, or suppressed memories. Repressed memories is a relatively new concept, not being introduced until the turn of the 20th century. After the breakthrough concept, psychologists everywhere understood the human brain a little better. 

But what is a repressed memory? A repressed memory is the memory of something that happened to you, too traumatic to remember. Sometimes the brain unconsciously blocks out this memory, but other times people intentionally block the event from their mind. Events that cause suppressed memories usually occur at a young age. I’ll provide two examples: one I made up, and the other from a TV show. 

Let’s say you’re a teenage girl who’s always been scared of bodies of water. You have no clue why; you just know that you hate pool parties and vacations to  the beach. When you inquire about it, your mom tells you that you almost drowned as a baby. In order to keep you “safe”, your brain just blocked out the memory, but kept the phobia. 

The TV example is a tad lengthy, but an interesting case of suppressed memories. Sherlock Holmes (the BBC version) is a show that covers deduction, true friendship, British wit, and the studying of psychopathic minds. Sherlock’s finale offers us a prime example of a repressed memory. Sherlock has never known anything about a sibling other than his bossy older brother Mycroft. But when Eurus pops up and tranquilizes John, Sherlock is told he has a sister. The only problem? He doesn’t remember her at all. According to Mycroft, Eurus was “an era-defining genius” who displayed psychopathic tendencies at a young age. She told her parents that she “drowned Redbeard”, who Sherlock remembers as his dog. (More on that in a second.) Then she burnt down Musgrave Hall in an attempt to kill young Sherlock. She was institutionalized at Sherrinford, and her parents were informed that she had died while trying to start another fire. To which Sherlock responds, “That is a lie.” Mycroft explains that Eurus has been kept in Sherrinford because she is a danger to society, but too valuable to kill (not to mention the lack of ethics behind the alternative). 

But back to the repressed memory. The bitter truth behind Sherlock’s backstory and why he doesn’t remember Eurus has to do with Redbeard. Redbeard wasn’t a dog; “Redbeard” was the pirate name of Sherlock’s best friend, Victor Trevor. In an attempt to get Sherlock to play with her as a young child, Eurus left Trevor in a well, hence her admitting that she “drowned Redbeard”. After the fire and her incarceration, Sherlock rewrote his memories, forgetting his sister and rewriting Redbeard to be his dog, not his friend. In doing so, he repressed the entire incident with Eurus and Redbeard and pushed it out of his mind. It wasn’t until Eurus confronted him with the memories that he remembered. 

Sadly, these instances are rapidly growing as more and more people go through therapy to recover their forgotten memories. My advice? Unless instructed to do so by a doctor, don’t try to recover your lost memories. They will stir up emotions and flashbacks that you may not be ready to experience again. Consider the repercussions before you undergo therapy that could resurface a traumatic event.