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Spaz
I want him out of my house, out of my yard, and out of my life for good! He sneaks in through windows and doors. He also scares everyone out of the house and will not stop ruining each and every room he manages to break into!
If he keeps breaking into my house and destroying everything I think I may just have to make an emergency phone call to... ANIMAL CONTROL! Yes the little guy that is making me so irritated is a little bald squirrel! He used to have nice, thick black hair until over the summer he developed a disease, he lost all his hair and will not be able to make it through the winter. I feel bad for him but over the summer he has bitten a hole through my door, left presents (poop) on my door mat, when he does manage to make it inside he sprints throughout the house like a crazy man having a spaz attack not stopping to breathe!
After around 2 hours at my friend's house, I came back and there he was sitting on my kitchen counter top, next to what was left of the peanut butter container. He didn't look naked anymore, he looked like he couldn't open his mouth because of all the peanut butter all over his face and body. I looked around my kitchen and saw that while I was gone he was jamming honey roasted peanuts into the corners of the room, stuffing them into the bread box, and slipping the nuts under the refrigerator. The toaster wire was bitten in half, pots and pans displaced, and popcorn kernels pouring out of the bag. I kept searching around the house to make sure Spaz didn't sneak into anything else.
Oh he sure did, the bathroom smelled like my new lime shaving cream and it was all over the ground. Toilet paper was spread out on the floor, the sink was flooded over and water was gushing over the sides flowing onto the ground and out the door.
From now on, his name is Spaz and I want him out of my house, out of my yard and out of my life forever!
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