“It’s dark. I’m alone. It’s time. I can finally do it. My time has come.” I grab the scissors and I look around. Then I turn to look at myself in the mirror, then I go paralyzed thinking. “Wait!- I can’t do this!- I’m only fifteen! It’s too early to die!- I have a life to experience! I can’t let it go to waste now!” It’s beginning to be too late. The blades of the scissors are pointed at me. One quick and swift movement and it ends right there. My hands. Ready to make the first move. I snap back into reality as soon as I hear my best friend’s bedroom door aggressively swing open. I look over and they’re shaking as their eyes widened. I drop the scissors as fast as the tears on my blankly expressed face roll down and drip. “Wh-What were you thinking!?- I could’ve lost you if I didn’t make it in time!- Why didn’t you tell me you felt like this!?-” They say as they ran over to me and gripped onto my shoulders hugging me tightly. My body doesn’t move or do anything, but my mind felt so awful and ashamed. I got disappointed in myself. I then began to break down completely. I fell to the floor balling my eyes out. “I’m so sorry!- I didn’t know what I was thinking!- I didn’t feel like I needed to be in this world!- I don’t belong anywhere!-” I could tell my friend was concerned and frightened for me. 

I heard my friend sigh as they picked me up. They then said to me, “It’s okay. But I have something to show you that I watched in order to help myself out.” They plopped me on their bed as they grabbed their laptop and sat next to me. I honestly was confused about what they were gonna show me. But I looked at the laptop anyway as they pulled a video up. It was from a high school somewhere, So it must’ve been educational. He played the video as we sat next to each other. 

About eight minutes later, the video ended. I then turned to my best friend and hugged them tightly, thanking them. That video was very, very helpful. But one specific thing in the video really caught my attention. The method they used to show which person was feeling suicidal was stuck with a backpack. At first, the person tried taking it off, but it stayed with them, every day and every night. And whenever something happened that made him feel betrayed or upset, a rock would drop into the bag, putting pressure on his back. That pressure is the urge getting stronger, and stronger. Later on in the video, the person actually got very close to doing it. Just like me. But their best friend barged in. Just like mine. Everything was clicking together. This video is very similar to what my best friend and I dealt with earlier. But one part hit me. In the video, it wasn’t only the person that got stuck with the backpack wasn’t the only one. The person’s best friend also was stuck with a backpack too. The ending of the video was them taking the rocks out. But I knew what it actually meant. They were venting to each other, comforting each other. They then shut their laptop and set it aside. We then looked at each other, both knowing what was coming next.

After venting and comforting each other for about thirty-four minutes, we ended up taking a nap that lasted for three hours at most. Honestly, if they weren’t there to help. I wouldn’t even be here to talk about this. They’ve saved me so many times for the littlest things, but this was a big saving. And I couldn’t thank them enough for what they’ve done for me. They’ve saved me even when they were struggling with thoughts of their own. They’re so brave and strong. I don’t know what I would do without them.

As of today, I’ve been actually doing much better ever since that happened. I’ve learned to ignore those thoughts to the best of my ability, and it has worked. As for me and my best friend, our roles swapped. They’ve been telling me how much they’ve been struggling these past few weeks due to getting everything done for school and losing friends of their own. And of course, I’m always there for them. I’m always reassuring them, telling them that everything’s gonna be alright, giving them advice, all of that fun stuff. But still, If they weren’t there for me, I wouldn’t be like how I am now.

The video and my best friend have both taught me to seek out help. Even if it’s a small problem. People should always seek help. It doesn’t make them weak, it only makes them stronger and tougher. Tell a family member, Tell their best friend, Tell their significant other, please, just seek out for help.