TW//MURDER, VIOLENT IMAGERY

Within the murky world of crime, murder holds a notorious position for being one of the most heinous, and one of the hardest ones to get away with. Whether you are a jealous lover or a beginning assassin-for-hire, or whether you are motivated by revenge, hate, or desperation, murdering someone will be a difficult journey. At every turn, you will have to use all your wits to avoid authorities and to not leave a trail, with the knowledge that the slightest misstep will be your downfall. In this guide, I will describe the scientific side of murder, while explaining how to take the proper precautions, avoid leaving evidence, and dispose of a body efficiently. 

No one said committing murder would be easy; before you even start, you need to do weeks of research on the victim’s habits and daily routine. This is the first step, and you might also want to take note of any security cameras on their property, whether they have any loud pets, or whether they live with other people. This knowledge will help you plan how to break in and when to break in. You also need to plan the murder, such as how you will kill your victim, which will be your second step. 

By now, you should have planned your murder, noted your victim’s habit, and chosen the method of murder. You are ready for the third step, which is taking necessary precautions. Before you set out, make sure to wear plain black, unrecognizable clothes. Wear a pair of shoes you never wear, that don’t have a unique footprint pattern and that are too big for you. Wear a different perfume from what you usually wear, or don’t use one at all. Due to advancements in forensic science, a single hair or a cell in a drop of saliva can be traced back to you, so make sure you wear a hairnet and a proper mask. According to the CDC, fitted N95 masks are the best, but surgical masks are designed to catch droplets. Finally, wear gloves to avoid leaving fingerprints, and set out, not changing your usual routine.  
Unfortunately, this guide is not designed to give information on how to murder someone, but only on how to get away with the act. So, no matter what method you choose, be it a savage attack with a sledgehammer or a small bit of poison slipped into their drink, this fourth step is the most important. It is imperative that you clean every inch of the crime scene, get rid of any evidence, and most importantly, get rid of the murder weapon somewhere where it will never be found. Clean the entire place with oxygen bleach, get rid of the victim’s clothes, and get rid of any identification documents the victim may have had on them. When you get home, you are going to need to wash the clothes you wore and get rid of them in a secure place, along with the murder weapon. 
Now this fifth step is the tricky part; you are going to have to hide the body as well as possible. It is likely that even if the body is found, it will be too decayed to find a date for the murder or even a cause of death from the autopsy. Where and how you hide the body influences the process of decay. For example, if the body is stored somewhere warm and dry, parts of it will shrivel up, but the face, hair, and distinguishing features may still be identifiable. If the body is clothed or buried deeply, the lack of air can prevent bacteria from surviving there, slowing down the process of decay dramatically. A place that is too cold would preserve the body for a long time.

Therefore, the best place to bury the body is in a moist and warm location. Burying the body in a swamp would be ideal, or even in a place with moist soil, as long as it is away from prying eyes. Even throwing it in a body of water would be nice. Like the murderer Buck Ruxton did, you can confuse forensic scientists by mutilating your victim’s body so they cannot be identified.

If you’ve followed these steps to the letter, you are likely going to accomplish a worthy feat: getting away with murder. Make sure to get home safely, shower to wash away the dirt, blood, and sweat, and make a bowl of popcorn. Sit down on your couch and turn on the TV to watch how the police struggle to solve this case, smiling the whole time because you outsmarted them. Murder is a tricky business, and yet you were able to get away with it successfully, so, I offer you my words of congratulations.