Once in a great while we all feel a mindless need of pain. Some of us go into immediate silence. Others block it out with laughter and smiles. I was one of those peope, to block it out. Pretend nothing happened, I'd say to myself. I honestly thought all my troubles would go away. I had it all i was popular, had a great boyfriend, an amazing family, but inside i had to block the amazing out into the outside world. There was nothing amazing about my family. A neglectful father and mother, and a sister who cared about me deeply.

One day I couldn't hide it any longer. I struggled for 2 year to try and hide my wrists, thighs, and arms. I was caught in the same rut every night. Cry a little bleed a little. I loved the feel of all my pain coming out. All of it washed down the drain. Soon i changed my lool. My hair. Everything about me changed. I couldn't take it anymore. Cutting, slashing, uncountable scars. One night i couldn't take it, i wanted to end it all. make it all go away.

I sat there sitting in the bathroom, home alone. I hadn't spoken to anyone for weeks. I blacked out. All i can remember is being in my moms room, crying telling her how sorry i am, that i was so stupid, to bleed so much. i had countless marks to show my pain. And no one will ever understand my silent cry out to no one.