What if?

I can’t stop thinking. Distracting me in school.

What if my leg had shown one of its moments of weakness, and I hadn’t crossed that patch of ice.

What if I hadn’t been there, would they have been able to handle him themselves?

No? Yes?

Haunting.

What if he’d taken off before he really did?

Alive? Dead?

I don’t know.

Lost a friend?

I think so.

Exhausting.

What if we hadn’t spied, worried for our friend’s life?

What if we hadn’t run, and I hadn’t told that lie?

What if I hadn’t spoken, would he have hit me?

What if the ice was thicker, would that car have done that too?

What if I had been a half second slower?

Would that have been my doom?

Terrifying.

What if he had wrecked even though someone was tailing him?

What if?

What if?

What if he’d never taken those pills, and the whole night had been different from round one?

What if he won’t forgive me?

What if I’d never met them?

What if we had done nothing, would he be alive?

Would he be dying?

He said he was fine, but I say that’s a lie. Did he hurt himself during that nasty, icy night?

Why have I heard nothing since then? Is he alright?

Energy drinks and codeine pills, overdoing all of it.

He claimed he was just fine to drive, but could barely walk.

So now I guess I worried, perhaps a little much.

But now I have to ask myself; what if I hadn't?