She had no idea how she got here. She didn’t want to be here. Jasmine wanted to be free, living her dreams; roaming the world and making an excruciating amount of money. Instead, she was trapped in this apartment filled with the aroma of cigarettes and dirty dishes; spending her nights on the leaning couch with rips and holes. Her boyfriend Dex didn’t crave her here, and she knew that. But he was all she had, even if he chose to stay out late and refuse to allow her into the bedroom. She sometimes reminisced on the times she had with her real parents-- before they gave her up to the sanity of an orphanage; wondering why they would ever do such a thing. In her mind, they ruined her. They ruined what she could’ve been. But now, she had nothing. She wasn’t free. She was misplaced and petrified of being alone.
Jasmine sat by the couch, fiddling with the holes. She plied through them with her needle and thread, trying to repair them. It wasn’t long, before Dex came through the door, a beer in his hand and soaked from head to toe. He slammed the door behind him and glared down at his her pitiful eyes.
“What do you think you’re doing?” He sternly said, throwing his beer to the ground, not caring about the disorder. He approached Jasmine, and met her eyes when she stood to her feet. “Don’t mess with my couch.” He shoved her back down on to the floor, and made his way to the bedroom, as if she wasn’t even a human being. Jasmine picked up her needle and thread, along with herself, not saying a word. Her best option would be to remain silent. She didn’t feel tears anymore, all she felt was hurt. The pain deep in her chest would pound through, almost forcing her to stand up and tell Dex where he stands. But she had no place to do so. She needed Dex, even if he didn’t need her. She didn’t want to be alone. She laid her head back and closed her eyes, giving her closure. She thought of holding her dad’s hand, and window shopping. She missed him. She missed what her life could’ve been.
The thunder snapped her back to reality, as she examined the home she has been living in. The place she’s been calling ‘home’ for so many years. She never left this repulsive apartment, because Dex demanded she not leave. He said it was best if she did the house work, because the world out there was daunting. But Jasmine was weary of the static from the TV, and the odor from all of the beer that surrounded her life. She wanted more out of it than this.
It took her everything she had to pick herself up off the couch and approach the worn bedroom door. She thought of every possible consequence, but she knew it was time. It was time to try this. Time to move on. She lifted her heavy hand and knocked gently on the door. She knew Dex was awake because he would never sleep with the TV on.
“Who the hell are you, to be knocking on my door?” Dex said, opening the door. “Last time I checked, your place was on the couch.” He crossed his arms, nearly taunting her to make a move.
She shuffled the words that needed to be said around in her head. She finally came to the right ones. “Dex, I need to leave.” Her stomach began to ache. Yet, she still carried on. “I’m leaving this place. Leaving you.” She squinted her eyes and tightened her body, preparing for a hit he may deliver. But instead, he stood there, staring her down.
Dex began to shake and his lips began to curl. He unwrapped his arms and reared back, ready to hit Jasmine. “You think you’re going anywhere?!” He shouted. Jasmine backed up, and in an instant began looking for anything other than her hands to defend her with. She grabbed the closest beer bottle and swung it at Dex. The glass shattered against his skull, and he just stared deep into her eyes. She was scared that it had no effect on him, and she was ready to run. Instead, his eyes lock and he fell to the ground near her feet. She dropped the broken beer bottle and stared at his motionless body. She felt as if all the baggage she had been carrying for them both of them had fell right off, next to Dex’s body. She began shaking, not knowing whether to escape or call an ambulance. She backed up into the wall and made her way to the couch, where she had only a journal and her hoodie. She didn’t want to go looking for any of her other articles of clothing; she wanted to get out of here before Dex woke up.
Jasmine slid on her hoodie and closest gym shoes, running out the door. She sped down the steps and out into the rainy hours of darkness. The first breath of air that she took after leaving the cramped apartment was the first breath she actually breathed. She put her hood on and stepped onto the drenched pavement. The rain fell down and poured all over her body. She looked to the left, and then to the right—seeing nobody in sight. Jasmine wasn’t sure where she was going to go, but she had to go somewhere. Her breaths were heavy and she was shaking. She sighed deeply and sat down on the concrete steps that lead into the building.
Jasmine closed her eyes and buried her face into her knees. She remembered her mother picking her up and swinging her into the air. Tossing her around and kissing her cheeks. The rain began to clog her mouth, and her sight was blurry. Jasmine wanted to open her eyes and stare into her mother’s. Instead, she stared down the road again and still saw nobody. She stood up and put her face down, beginning to walk down the sidewalk. She was free. But she was alone.