There’s a boy and I don’t want to care. That’s the thing. I don’t want to care. I wish I would be completely impartial about this whole situation, but the truth is I’m not. And I never will be. At least, not for now. But for now, I’m going to have to care, and that means it’s going to hurt. It’s going to hurt like crazy because I’m a human, and humans have no ways of controlling their emotions, we can only hide them.

With all complete honesty, I would love not to be attracted to anyone right now. I could hang out with whomever I wanted, and not get upset when I hear some story about how he wants to be with someone else. Emotionally, I want to be unavailable. For now, at least. I’m young. I don’t need the pressure of others upon me. I don’t need to walk in the hallway, see him, and wish he’d say “hi” to me, and then be disappointed when he waves to the person next to me. Or to walk in the hallway and have him mess with my head by blowing me a kiss. I’m confused and tired, and I don’t want to deal with the whole bit anymore.