I like to watch people. When I go to the mall I like to see what types of people inhabit it. The mall, especially at Christmas time, provides a utopia of interesting, weird and down-right strange folks. If you’re looking for a show this Christmas go to the mall.

The first people I see are the timorous ones. These folks stick out. You can tell they don’t belong because they clutch a list. They scamper from store to store until their mission is complete and they can scurry home.
Next I notice the fractious shoppers. I can’t miss the schism between the timorous and fractious shoppers. Timorous shoppers are afraid to talk to you; however, fractious ones won’t hesitate to pitch a fit if you grab a shirt they desire. Their shopping trips are truncated because security expunges them from the mall.
I enjoy watching the flamboyant shoppers. Their personalities are jaunty. They are not afraid to say what they hate, but they’ll do it in a polite manner. They are trendsetters wearing the latest, most fashion forward clothing. They walk the mall like it’s a runaway because they’re hot and they want everyone to see.
There is only one personality at the mall that is an anathema to me, the ostentatious shoppers. I can’t stand how they walk around the malls, holding their bags as to be sure you see what they bought. They like to talk about the clothes they are wearing and how much they cost. They proceed to bore me with complaints of the mall’s lack of “classy stores.” I don’t say anything to these people. If you don’t like it, leave.
If you’re looking for something to do this holiday season, but are short on cash head to your local mall. You’ll be in for a show.