Every little kid wants a pet. Cats, dogs, turtles, birds, and when all else fails - goldfish. For fifteen cents you can purchase a pet that looks exactly like every other goldfish in existence, so when a kid goes to summer camp and you forget to feed it, it can be conveniently replaced.
I was one of those kids who, failing at convincing my parents that a dog is actually a good idea, relented and got myself six goldfish.
When I stated earlier that goldfish have an incredibly short lifespan, I was by no means exaggerating. Goldie (for that is the name I bestowed upon all six of my new fish) took an early ride on the Swirling Porcelain Express to goldfish hell, and my six goldfish were quickly reduced to five before I got from PetSmart to my front door.
I wasn't sad however, my disposable pet was flushed, and I took the other five to their new home. Less than one week later the goldfish population in my house was reduced to one, and I was waiting patiently for Goldie VI to die. Now Goldie VI was coming up on his two month birthday and was as content as can be in his solitary lifestyle. I, however, was not.
What I didn't know at the time was that if you take proper care of them, goldfish can live a very long time. But that was when I came up with the brilliant idea of setting Goldie VI free into the wild of the big blue ' a pond behind my house. I started out my journey with Goldie VI in a red plastic cup, and we made our way placidly and without peril to the edge of the small lake. I said goodbye, then dipped the edge of the cup under the water and watched Goldie swim away.

Goldie tasted freedom for all of three seconds before he was swallowed by a bigger fish...