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A Funeral Toast for a Most Esteemed Feline
  I would like to call a toast. A toast for a great figure- a forgotten legend
  that faded away because no one cared to remeber him. He may not
  have existed but he inspired us,
  
  Garfield taught us to enjoy life. That we can devour lasagna and that
  Italian cuisine is the best! He demonstrated that exercise is not
  necessary to be smart, He educated and enlightened those that desire a
  dog, to show them they are hopelessly wrong. Cats would NEVER tear
  your house apart.
  
  If you need advice, as we all long for, cats will instruct you in the right
  direction. Cats are masters. Cats, Garfield demonstrated would
  dominate the world. Their own house is their palace. Garfield
  instructed Jon on exactly how to live. From what to prepare for dinner
  to just about anything. Do you not see the knowledge we have
  acquired? Here is a life book— a life instruction manual.
  
  We are Jon, and we can learn from this film exactly what to do. Do you
  ever wonder why we are intensely concerned for our diet? Because we
  need to watch Garfield! and learn how to enjoy life. He told us exactly
  what to eat. Our appearance may change, as we may become a little
  plump, yet we will be happy! I plead with you to bring Garfield back, by
  watching this mind — boggling film. I would also like to clarify that this
  information is ALL from his view and perspective. I agree with none of
  it.

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This is a toast dedicated to Garfield. It is inspired by the orginal Garfield TV Cartoon.