Its been almost 4 years since my grandpa died and I can still remember almost every little detail about what happened when he died. I was in 4th grade. He died the night before Easter, which was also the night before my sister’s birthday. It was a big shock for everyone in my family, but for my grandma it was an even bigger shock. She still hasn’t found her way of letting go.

My grandpa was in the hospital for 6 months straight, from the end of Sept. – the end of Mar., before he died. During those 6 months, my grandma always wanted him to come home. My grandpa would always get better and then when the doctor told my grandma that he could come home, he would end up getting worse instead of better. Finally, the week before Easter, my grandpa came home. That Wed. my aunty Peggy came home from Goshen, IN to help my grandma take care of him. On Thurs. my mom, my grandma, my Aunty Peggy, and I were at church, while my Aunty Lorie and my cousin Amanda were taking care of my grandpa while we were gone. After we got home my Aunty Lorie said that while we were gone my grandpa asked my Aunty Lorie, “Who’s on the couch?” and my Aunty Lorie said, “There’s nobody there.” After that my grandpa must have been thinking of when he was a little boy and lived on a farm because he told my cousin Amanda to go feed the pigs, but because there were no pigs Amanda just went outside for a while. When she came back in she told grandpa that she feed the pigs. On Sat. after my Aunty Peggy left, the home nurse came. The home nurse told my grandma that he needed to go back to bed. My grandma said, “He can’t, he basically just got up.” The home nurse told my grandma that he needed to go back to bed because he was dieing. The home nurse said that he had this rattle in his throat that they call it the death rattle. When my grandma called my family to come over before grandpa died, my mom called my Aunty Peggy and told her that she should turn around right away and come back home, but she didn’t answer her phone. So, because it’s a 5 hour drive from Two Rivers, WI to Goshen, IN, my mom called my Uncle Dan and told him, “Get yourself and all the kids ready to go so that when Peggy gets home you can come right back.” So my Aunty Peggy ended up driving the 5 hours back to Goshen and the 5 hours back to Two Rivers, but when they got back they were a half hour late. My grandpa died at 8:00 and they got back at 8:30. When they got back my Aunty Peggy told my mom that she had her phone on, like she always does, but she didn’t hear it ring.

That’s what happened when my grandpa died. Again it was very shocking for all of us, but it was even more shocking for my grandma. Honestly I think I was in shock when my grandpa died because I never really cried when he died. So honestly I know what its like to lose someone that’s really close to you. All I can say is its hard to let go of someone