Jason Balthazar, Youth Pastor from the church I attend, Liberty Christian Center, is 38 years old and was born on March 8, 1976 in Chicago, Illinois. I’ve known Jason for about 2 years now and over those years, my relationship with both himself and his wife has increased. This interview will consist of questions that has to do with Jason Balthazar’s childhood. 

Who did you live with growing up as a child?

Several different people actually. For a portion of the time I lived with my mother. From one to five I lived with my mother, from five to seven I lived with my father and grandmother, then moved with an uncle and then moved with an aunt.

Do you have any siblings?

Yes, I had three brothers and two sisters. Chris is the oldest and he is 46 years old. Maggie is after Chris and she is 44. Denice is after Maggie and she is 42. Robert is after Denice and he is 39. I came after Robert. Then there’s Jon, which is the youngest and he is 32.

What was your childhood like?

My childhood was dysfunctional because of all of the different places that I lived and all of the different families that I lived with. So it was, interesting.

Why did you go from family to family growing up?

My parents, they had a lot of marital issues, because of those issues they divorced, and because they divorced neither one of them were financially in a good place. So I had to live with different people who could afford me or who had time to raise me.

Did you have a good relationship with both of your parents?

No I did not have a good relationship with any of my parents.

Why do you think that is? Was there anything that caused that?

I think the main cause was because, a lot of my childhood was more about them living their lives and not about them living for their kids lives; And that’s why I did not feel the love that I wanted to feel, and because I did not feel that love I did not appreciate them.

The one in the black turtleneck Is Jason and the
rest of the people in the picture are his siblings.

How about with your siblings, Did you have a good relationship with any of them?

None of my siblings, we didn't live together, soon after I was born, we were all separated and all went different ways. We all had a deep love for each other. We wanted that relationship with one another, we wanted to spend time with one another, but because of location we weren't able to. We had a deep love for one another but we did not have a relationship.

What did you struggle with the most, what do you feel like was the most difficult time for you?

I would say about eight to nine years old was the most difficult time for me. I was living with an uncle, it was downtown Chicago and they wanted me to go to Walt Disney Grammar School and there was a test that I had to take to get in, and I'm only eight to nine years old. I don't really remember the specific age but I remember there was a test I had to take to get in and we were sitting one day after I had taken the test, we were sitting at the dining room table about to eat and they had a little bit of money, they had a nice house, so my uncle looked over at me and said, “So I know you did not do well on the test because you don't want to live here”. I was crushed because I tried my hardest. This was the first family that wanted me and I wanted to prove that I was special and that I was somebody that was wanted and that was needed. For him to say that, I just started crying and crying and screaming at the top of my lungs saying that I did the best I could, I did the best I could, and they all just started laughing because it was a joke to them. As a child I was devastated I was never the same with them again. Soon after that, I just wanted to get out of there because I was crushed. That was probably the most difficult time in my life.

Do you think in the beginning when they said you didn't want to be there, Was it true, did you really not want to be there?

I wanted to be there. That was my family, that was somebody who wanted me. I wanted to be there because they wanted me, even though I knew in my heart I was still struggling with my parents not wanting me and not being around my brothers and sisters, but I still appreciated that they wanted me.

Who do you think was the most influential person in your life when you were growing up?

In a good or bad way?

Both.

In a good way I would say a friend named Alex lugo, he showed me how to be an alcoholic but he was the closest thing that I had to a brother that was around. He was older than I was but he was a good role model . He worked for the ambulance, worked for the city, he was a firefighter, he was a policeman. He always had good morals and foundation, he was always athletic. So I looked up to him and I always saw him as a role model. He always looked out for me. But the rest of my family was a bad influence on me [Laughs], they were all into gangs. They started a bunch of gangs back in the 60s, that was what I thought my legacy was. I thought that my life was suppose to be like my family, a gang member.

What did you do on your free time as a child?

I remember one of the things that come to mind, I guess there is a lot of things that come to mind. I played basketball just like any other kid, but there is something that I always remembered that I never really shared with anybody, was that I had a little tape recorder. They bought me a tape recorder and cassette tapes, you probably don't know what those are. But an old cassette recorder and I use to record myself singing or just talking. I was just always fascinated with communicating in different ways. That was one of my things. I would go in a corner or find a hiding place and I would just be with my tape recorder, just tape recording myself and just listening to myself. I never knew that I was suppose to communicate with others. [Laughs]

When you were growing up, what went through your head your head as you were thinking about the times you moved?

Well I guess when you’re younger, you don't really think about it.  Your just going day by day. You’re just living. Its not that I ever thought that I wasn't going to be something; its like my favorite superhero was superman, because superman in his natural form was super. That was the real superman. Clark Tent was the pretend guy. He pretended to be an average citizen and for me growing up that was how I felt. There was something inside of me that always said you're something special you're a superman. I would live these day to day lives but I knew that there was something special in me. I believed that, that was what God had in me. He knew I was something amazing and that was something he had always spoken to my heart about. Thats why I always liked superman.

This was Jason at a Youth Retreat
speaking to the Youth about God.

What was your relationship with God like? Did you believe in him or did you not?

I was raised in a catholic church and I was baptized, I went through my first communion, confirmation, and everything. I had a really good foundation of who God was and who Jesus was and why we were catholic. I didn't really have a real relationship with him. I knew that God was God and he did something great for me and he was to be respected and honored and loved. I didn't really live that out. Even as a child we went to church, but it was just something we would do. It was like a ritual, it wasn't like we would go back and say “oh God sees you” or God wasn’t apart of our everyday life, but he was definitely God, he was for sure always God in my life!

Did your parents or whoever you were living with at that time, were they ever on top of you about your relationship with god or did they not really care?

No it was just the way we did life. It wasn't like you were gonna do all these things for the church, It was just like yeah were catholic and thats what we do. Its like us being Puerto Rican. Yeah we are Puerto Rican thats what we are gonna be for the rest of our life. It wasn't like you had to try to be catholic or try to have a relationship with God, you were catholic and that was it. You’re catholic, you’re born into it, you’re baptised, so your good.

Looking back at your life now, how do you feel about it? What are your views on it?

I definitely appreciate everything I’ve gone through because it helps me help others that are going through the same thing that I went through because this is the way that things are. There are dysfunctional homes, nothing is functional anymore. What is functional in any home? But I do appreciate the foundations that they gave me from the catholic church, I appreciate those. A lot of those foundations are what made me the man that I am today. How I love God, how I respect God and how I believe that God is amazing. That makes me who I am today.

If you could go back into your child and change anything would you?

Yeah, I would change some stuff for sure. [Laughs]

What would you change?

I say that lightly because the people that I have in my life right now, I wouldn't want them to think that I don't want it to be like this. But there are things that I did to myself in my life, that I wish I didn't do. [Starts to cry]

Jason and his wife Jenny.

As Jason gets older, his relationship with God is increasingly stronger. He asks God to guide him and show him how to live for God. For the past 16 years, Jason has always been apart of a youth group in some way, since he gave his life to serve God. He tries to give back when he works with youth. Now he has been a youth pastor for one year. Jason Balthazar lived quite a difficult life, but as he got older, he gets closer to God and life is better.