February 14th, 2020, lunch. Love was fresh in the air. I walked the hall, my finger bumping along with the grooves of the wall like a dancer at a party. A smile bombarded my face and must’ve blinded the passers-by whose eyes stumbled upon me.

This was my first Valentine’s Day as a middle schooler - nothing much had changed maturity wise, but something in my heart sure had. My eye was dead-set on one girl, Melina. I had known Melina for years because we attended the same local pool, but I saw her in a new light now that my twelve-year-old mind was chock-full of hormones and admiration. After sitting idly yet joyously at my lunch table for almost 10 minutes, an opportunity presented itself to me in spectacular fashion. It was as if God himself was gifting me the chance of a lifetime. 

Melina stood three spots from exiting the lunch-line just as a bouquet of roses floated down onto my lunch table. A friend of mine was rejected by a girl he had favored, and thinking  I might have better luck, he gifted me the flowers he spent his hard-earned $8.99 on with a dream. Maybe it was the flowers. Maybe I was shrouded by misfortune that day. Maybe, just maybe, she was embarrassed in front of 250 people. Whatever the reason was, a tragedy in Shakespearean form was about to unfold upon me in live time. Taking the obvious act of fate at face value, I grabbed the flowers and steeled myself, thoughts of glory and humor drowned out the snickers and cheers of people who had caught onto the plan. As soon as she exited the lunch-line, with crispy, crunchy, crappy tater tots in hand, we locked eyes. She knew what I was doing, I knew what I was doing, and surely enough the whole lunchroom knew what I was doing. I got down on knee and presented the flowers to her abound with my love. 

History has a funny way of changing over time. Sadness might be replaced with joy, or maybe an event of no consequence becomes starts a chain reaction of large events. Life often reflects a circus mirror of sorts, distorting and extenuating features of life. But the greatest skill one can acquire is the ability to laugh. Laughter is a miracle drug of sorts:, you do it when you're happy, and if you’re not happy, laughter will make you happy. Even an event as devastating as the love of your life rejecting you in front of all your peers can look humorous in hindsight. 

Melina said no. My heart was crushed and my spirit was killed. I cried in that lunchroom, so hard you could probably still tell the day after. Melina ended up going to a different high school than me, and now we only see each other about twice a year at the Arundel pool. I poured my heart out to her but in the end she shot me down like a careening fighter jet. It killed me then, but now it gives life to plenty of humor. I no longer see the love of my life denying my love or resenting my affection, I see a dumb kid embarrassing himself gloriously and non consequentially in front of his peers.