"You include too many safety schools," This was the same comment from all my teachers, family, and friends about my list of colleges. "Why not choose more reach schools? I have confidence in you," my mom asked me, perplexed. "I'm afraid of being rejected by every university," I murmured faintly.

I was brought up in a peaceful family and enjoyed a happy childhood, but my life has always been composed of fears, all kinds of fears. Whenever I felt slightly uncomfortable, my back would be soaked in cold sweat, my hands trembling uncontrollably, and I would demand a doctor at once. Although my parents seldom satisfied my unreasonable requests, eventually, I survived to type these words.

As a child, I was always cautious and alert, attempting to minimize every possibility of risk or danger. My early years were characterized by meticulous preparation and a never-ending search for safety. I can still clearly recall my first day of kindergarten when I tightly gripped my mother's hand until my knuckles turned white. It was impossible to face the overpowering fear of the unknown and entering a room full of strangers. But I overcame them, as I have overcome many fears, by learning to take baby steps toward my goals. 

There were new challenges in high school. The stakes rose, and social relationships got more intricate. My anxiety about being rejected soared. I was terrified of being judged or not fitting in, so I avoided joining teams or clubs. However, I managed to get acquainted with a few classmates, who turned out to be my best friends and participate in a few clubs. The few connections I did make were close-knit and meaningful, giving me a feeling of community that allayed my anxieties.

On the other hand, my anxiety took an even new form—perfectionism. I was terrified of screwing up. Every task and exam turned into a mountain to be conquered. I used to spend hours going over my work again to make sure every little thing was flawless. My constant companion, the fear of failing, would whisper doubts in my ear. I still did well academically in spite of this but at a heavy price: restless nights and a persistent sense of unease.

Daily report, a kind of speech before every English class, was one of the most critical challenges I met. My biggest fear was public speaking---exposing myself in front of the crowd---but I realized that the only way to get over it was to tackle it head-on. There were nerve-wracking moments in the beginning. My thoughts would race, and my voice would tremble. I encountered sharp objections and relentless mockery, but I became more assured and accomplished with every opportunity before the class. I discovered how to use my fear as motivation to write better drafts, encounter accidents, and improve my public speaking. Eventually, my English teacher chose me as the host of our school's Foreign Language Reading Festival at the end of the semester. I distinguished myself by giving a persuasive speech on English reading abilities and won tremendous applause.

Creating my school list was a difficult process filled with countless worries and fears, but I kept in mind the lessons I had learned over the years: fear was not an enemy but rather a signal to get ready and keep going. This time, I approached the task with composure and determination, viewing each application as a chance to highlight my strengths and share my journey of overcoming fear and pursuing excellence.

Opening my laptop again, I added more reach schools, which I really wanted to get into, while maintaining my long list of safety schools unchanged.

I smiled because I had nothing to fear.