I can’t hang up on someone until they say good bye. It is physically impossible. That easy twitch of my finger. The resounding snap. All held in suspense until they dismiss me. Anger searing in my throat, eyebrows pressed down, my breath held so that it doesn’t burst out of me into shattering words; all unable to unlock the invisible hold. What if I happened to step into the shower, phone away from ear, and let the water become traffic on my skin? The voice on the phone would gurgle and cut out, drowning; the closest I would ever come to murder. Steady heat, numbing heat, would pound, erasing thoughts of my phone blinking out of life. My eyes closed, I’d feel embraced with no arms around me; sad, with all my tears cried for me. Blinking the feeling out of my eyes, I wouldn’t be able to tell if I taste salt or nothing…. A feeling of hopelessness would fall over me, held in each drop. It would rain on me with the knowledge that I can’t tell my own grief from the water making tracks on my face.