Mickey, of all people how could u do this to me? To yourself? I’ve known you since I was 4. You asked me to get out and maybe someday we would see each other on the outside. I can’t believe you. You corrupted my youth to the point of no return. You got yourself expelled. You told me that you didn’t want to be like that. But you are. I’m ecstatic that you’re getting help but help can only bring you so far. You need to pull yourself out, like I did. You can do it. I believe in you.


My mom was on the phone for half an hour. This was unusual. She typically talked for about 5 minutes at most. I started listening after 20 minutes, but I couldn’t hear a name. I figured she would tell me eventually so I let it go. But I was little, my mind got distracted so I forgot about the call. The next day Tay-tay came over and she was distraught. I asked her over and over again what was wrong, and that she could tell me. She waited until we were alone, and then she broke the news to me. Mickey was in the hospital.
I couldn’t believe it. “Why?” was all I could mutter from the shock. I hadn’t grasped it yet. She told me that Mickey has an eating disorder, and she is going to be in the hospital for a while. I was in 3rd grade, and my best friend was in the hospital with an eating disorder.
“Anorexic,” she described, “It means she doesn’t want to eat.” I still couldn’t believe it. But when I remembered the last time I saw her, I realized how thin she looked. How weak she was. I was too young to see these trivial things on my own.
“She can come and visit home, though,” she told me, “She can only come Wednesday nights at 6.” It was enough for me. But, as time passed, I found out that my mother would not let me see her. I only saw her when she got out of the hospital a few months later. She told me horrible stories of that awful place. She told me that when she went to the bathroom, you would have to leave the door open so they could see if you were throwing up your lunch. She told me that if you did not eat, they would shove tubes down your nose and force feed you until you were so full you felt sick. I had asked her if they did that to her. She said that they did, but it was not her fault. She was helping one of the staff members, so she missed it. When you miss a meal, they make you drink this icky shake called Ensure. Mickey didn’t want it so they asked for her lunch. They refused to let her get it and there was a miscommunication between them. They ended up tying her to her bed and forcing the tubes down her throat. She was in 4th grade.