I see my friends everyday but it doesn't seem like they see me. They might look at me but not really acknowledge that I'm really seem to care or listen. Even when I do talk to them they don't understand what I'm saying or what I'm even talking about. They say they do but I know they really don't. Or they say "yea" or "ok" or "I'm sorry" but they are just saying it to say to just seem like they care when they really don't. What's the point in it? If you don't care then just say so. No need to lie to my face. I should just runaway from it all. Who would care? If I ran away there wouldn't be anyone to lie to me. I wouldn't have to talk to fake people who don't care about me. Just run while I'm not noticed by anyone. Who would miss me? Not like they can make me stay. Besides I'm better off alone. Everyone is better off without me. That boy that stole my heart. He's in my heart. He's in my mind. He's in my soul. He is part of me. We started with love, grew with kisses and died by lies, people, misunderstandings and unanswered questions. I'm still so lost without him. I seem fine. I look fine. I feel great. But I also feel like I'm not all there. I feel like when he left he took half of me. I can't picture my life without him but it seems like that's how it's going to be. Everyone says he's not worth it but he's worth it to me. I truly think I love him. I should just runaway from it all. He wouldn't care. If I ran away then I wouldn't feel heartache. If I ran away then I wouldn't have to deal with more broken hearts. I wouldn't have to take all the confusion of love. I wouldn't have anyone to love and no one to love me. That's the way it should be. So now hearts can be broken. Having to deal with bullies. Making me feel bad about myself. Making myself feel like trash. Calling me fat, ugly, stupid, s***, someone not worth living. Do they not understand the pain in those words? Do they not understand what they cause? Suicides, eating disorders, cosmetic surgeries, cutters, killers. They wouldn't like it if it happened to them. When they say it this much then we start feeling like that. We become something we are not. Someone who is ashamed of who they really are. Who God made us to be. I should just runaway from it all. They wouldn't have to waste there breath on me. If I ran away then I wouldn't feel like a loser, like a waste of space, like a nobody. I wouldn't have to feel the pain and sorrow. I've bared through it long enough and it;s time to let go of it all. I've used all my strength on trying just to survive all the lies, fakers, heart breakers, sadness, depression, pain, disgust, anger and emptiness. Running away is my only hope. Well there's one more. Now that I think about it, it is the choice I have to chose. To take away all the pain. I shall live life through the one and only powerful God. He will protect me from all these words that cut me like a knife and this pain that drown my heart, mind and soul. He will be the shoulder I can cry on, the best friend that cares about everything I do or say and will try to help, the only guy that can never break my heart. I have realized that all my life God has been there right next to me. If it wasn't for him I probably would have not be here where I am today. If only I would've realized it sooner. Could've saved both of us all the pain and heartache. If I am going to runaway, I am going to run into God's arms and cry and cry and cry and poor myself into him. I need to let go of the past and start my new beginning, a new chapter in my life named "My New Beginning With God." I am ready to try my hardest to do what God tells me to do and forever live my life through him.