I stared out the car window, watching the trees and cars pass, waiting until we arrived at the hotel. My dad was crying in the front seat and my mom was trying to calm him down. I hate hearing my dad cry, it means the situation is real. We pulled up to the side door of the hotel preparing ourselves for what we are about to experience. I was scared out of my mind, choking up and holding back tears. We all stood on the sidewalk saying our goodbyes to my big brother leaving to serve our country. I hugged his skinny little waist so tight I felt as if I was going to break him. I felt my tears soaking into his shirt, I felt his tears on my head as he kissed my forehead. I remembered what those tears mean. He’s not leaving because he just wants to get away and leave, He actually does love me and those are tears of joy. He spoke so softly to me “ You’re my girl.” I couldn't comprehend what just happened. I couldn't grasp the fact that my big brother is going on his own. I ran back to the car, plopping myself back down on the seat and plugging myself into my headphones. I didn’t want to hear anyone talk, cry, or even breath. I wanted to be alone and I wanted it to be quiet. I looked out of the window and watched him walk away into the hotel with his tiny duffle bag filled by only the bare necessities. I realized in the midst of my sadness and anger that he’s doing what he loves. He is living the dream, he’s doing what he has always wanted to do. He’s happy. He didn't need money or fame, he had his own definition of happiness. Maybe that’s what I needed. I needed to find my own definition of happiness, because who I am right now is sad and angry. I sat there in the car worrying about his safety and being scared for him. In that moment I was unhappy. I realized that my definition of happiness is letting things go. To not worry about fate, but to live my life and let what happens happen. Its time to grow up and realize that worrying does no good for anyone. I just need to live my life, worry free. He’s about to do some of the hardest training out there and he is as happy as can be. So I asked myself “who am I to be unhappy, when I have every reason to be happy?”