Why Remember Whats Best To Forget: Here Lies Krista | Teen Ink

Why Remember Whats Best To Forget: Here Lies Krista

November 5, 2013
By pater829 BRONZE, Oak Lawn, Illinois
pater829 BRONZE, Oak Lawn, Illinois
2 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Tapping fingers, counting the steps of the stairs, and constantly thinking of other possibilities , being trapped in her own world where no one else is welcomed, they don’t want to be there though because once your there it’s hard to leave, your sort of trapped. Krista wonders why she feels this way as she walks down the steps of her home.
Her mother’s calling her down for breakfast, but she’s in a daze, she can’t seem to focus on her mother.
“One, two, and three....’’ Again and again, she can’t stop counting. Krista reaches the last step ‘’twenty’’.., done. The smell of crisp bacon, freshly squeezed orange juice, toasted bread smothered in Nutella, has her rushing into the kitchen were a delicious breakfast is served.
Her two sisters Mia and Harper sit at the little round table that consists of all her favorite food. But she doesn’t sit down, she starts to count the amount of plates on the table for no particular reason, Mia looks at her in confusion shaking her head not wanting to pay attention to her, as she whips her long brown hair over her shoulder in annoyance turning away, Krista doesn’t have to see this in order to know that it happened, this is an everyday thing. She keeps counting; Harper walks over to her quickly, grasping her shoulders, shaking her.
‘’Krista come on sit down,’’ Harper states in concern. She walks Krista over to the table sitting her down in the chair that’s placed in between Harper and Mia. Her mom walks in wearing an apron that has a sort of elegant look to it, with its lace on the top and bottom that seems to help the roses stand out with their long stems and sharp vines swirling around the apron outlining the beautiful roses.
Mia bangs her hand on the table; Krista jumps startled already knowing that it was meant for her. “Sorry” she mumbles, tapping her fingers against her leg, counting. Her mother studies her with a barely there smile on her face ‘’ Krista are you alright dear’’? Krista glances up at her ‘’ Just peachy’’ she replies.
Krista glances out the window spotting their huge oak tree in the back yard watching a mother bird feed her little ones, she can’t help wondering what it’s like to fly the way a bird does, to just be free with no worries, unconsciously she flaps her arms in a slow motion.
‘’what are you doing, weirdo’’? Mia looks at her, eyebrows raised, lips curling in disgust. Krista shakes her head not responding. She watches as the bus pulls up in front of her house , Mia and Harper rush out the door with a chorus of ‘’Bye mom love you’’. Stepping onto the bus Krista can’t help but jump in fright when she hears the evil cackle of the bus driver, she turns to look at him cringing when she notices that he’s drenched in sweat, looking as if he’s been swimming in his clothes all day, he points forcefully , gesturing for her to go to the back.
Krista walks straight to the back head down, shoulders slumped. She sits down shuddering in disgusts from the chewed gum and candy wrappers that lay around, circling her. She doesn’t have to look up to know that the obnoxious laughter in the front of the bus is her sister Mia, and the face in the bus drivers mirror glaring daggers at him, is none other than her sister Harper.
She begins to bang her head against the seat, she can’t help it, yelling at herself in her head ‘stop it, stop it’! She shouts internally, everyone is looking at her as if she’s a new species of some sort. Krista scrunches her eyes shut, continuing to slam her head against the seat, she just has to do it, and there is no other alternative. Krista doesn’t t have to open her eyes to know her sister Harper is trying to console her, she can’t hear her, the blood rushing through her ears from banging her head so much is making her dizzy, she still doesn’t stop, her vision turns black, fuzzy. ‘Krista stop, Krista’’! But she can’t hear anything after that, for she had lost against the battle with herself, she had blacked out.
Krista woke up in her bed that day; her mom was sitting next to her in a little pink rocking chair that she loved to sit in when she was about five, it was old, the paint was chipped off, it displayed scratch marks from many violent acts that Krista couldn’t seem to fight off, replaying those memories of throwing the chair, yelling at her mom, throwing her toys, fighting with her sisters, she couldn’t take it anymore. Krista began to scream, a blood curdling scream that was so loud it could’ve been heard overseas, her mother rushed over to her from the chair.
‘‘Krista please what’s wrong’’!she shouted trying to be over heard by Krista’s screaming, but she couldn’t get through to her, silent tears flowed down both of their faces, as Krista continued to scream and her mother sat there just staring at her in confusion, feeling lost. Krista stopped screaming. She held her throat wincing at the intense pain, her mother was rubbing her shoulders trying to display some sort of comforting gesture.
‘’It’s going to be okay’’ she said. Krista shook her head, sobbing ‘‘you don’t understand mom, I have no control! Please I need help; I need you to find out what’s wrong with me!’’ She choked out that last words, pulling the blanket over her head, she fell into a deep sleep, her mother walked out of the room, determined to look for some answers, as she walked out, she couldn’t bring herself to turn back to look at Krista knowing that if she did she would drowned in her own hopelessness from the mere fact that she couldn’t comprehend at all why Krista acted this way, and what caused her to display these actions.
Krista paced back and forth. She couldn’t sit in the pale lifeless room. As she paced back and forth she heard the sound of the door knob turning ‘Screech’! She covered her ears, silently rocking back in forth in the middle of the room, still pressing the palm of her hands firmly to her ears to block the wretched noise. Silence, Krista uncovered her ears, sighing in relief that the terrible noise was distinguished.
A tall woman walked in, she had owl-like eyes, an oval shaped face, and colorful knee high stockings. ‘Yikes’ Krista thought as she slowly walked back to the seat placed in the middle of the room, the woman sat across from her, studying her. ‘’Hi I’m Mrs. Olive , nice to meet you Krista’’, Mrs. Olive smiled at Krista as if in pity. Krista just stared at the wall behind her noticing the particular carvings in the wall, not paying any attention to her whatsoever. Krista felt a hand slam on her shoulder ‘’Krista please pay attention’’ Mrs. Olive demanded. Krista attempted to make eye contact but as soon as she glanced at Mrs. Olive she saw a deformed face of Mrs. Olives it was drooping on the left side, while the other was covered in scratch marks and bruises, the face presented a snarl as if to say ‘ There’s no way out now Krista!’. She screamed , clutching her chest in fright running to the other side of the room , covering her ears and rocking back and forth chanting ‘go away, please just go away’. Mrs. Olive rushed over to her.
Krista couldn’t back into the wall anymore, there was no escape, and she was trapped. ‘’No’’! She cried, spitting at the face, her weak attempt to fend off the distorted creature. ‘’That is enough Krista’’! Suddenly Mrs. Olives face appeared in front of her, Krista shrieked ‘’Mrs. Olive your face was… She trailed off completely lost, not understating why she was having these strange hallucinations. ‘’Come here Krista sit down and show me what you see’’ Mrs. Olive said. She walked over to her desk and pulled a little wooden rocking chair in front of her desk, gesturing for Krista to sit down; she picked up a stack of papers.
‘’Krista I’m sure you know why you’re here, Your mother I assumed told you that you would be visiting me today because you feel as if something is wrong with you dear?’’ Mrs. Olive stated, Krista shook her head yes, desperately hoping that Mrs. Olive could help her, she held up a thin white sheet of paper with black ink on it.
‘’Tell me what you see’’ Mrs. Olive stated gently, Smiling at Krista. Krista looked at all the papers one by one ‘’a blob, a bird, a butterfly’…And so on Krista began stating what she had seen amongst the ink ridden pictures.
Mrs. Olive placed the last sheet of paper up for Krista to see, Krista looked up and had seen…herself. Krista began to sob ‘’what do you see Krista’’ Mrs. Olive said. ‘’I see myself, I see someone who’s different’’ She mumbled. Mrs. Olive jumped up from her chair ‘’exactly my dear you know the answer, not me this time around, surprisingly’’! She smiled wide. Krista walked out of Mrs. Olives office that day with no questions answered, puzzled.
She walked home in the pouring rain shivering, she watched as the bus passed her, as her sisters walked across the street from her, Mia ignoring her, while Harper smiled sadly at her. At that moment Krista lost hope, finally. She felt as if there was no solution at all, she walked into her house, spotting her mother crying silently to herself, but also smiling as if in relief, as if everything was going to be alright. , reading a little piece of paper that Krista assumed was from Mrs. Olive, Krista walked over the first sentenced she had read was ‘Diagnosed with Tourette’s Syndrome ‘Krista just stood there, faintly hearing the sound of her sisters laughing, her mother crying as if in relief. But the thing was Krista wanted that paper to say normal, Mrs. Olive even said that she knew the answer for herself, but in reality she didn’t.


She ran to her back yard, smiling to herself as she heard the mother bird harmonizing with her little ones she began to whistle along, feeling comfort knowing that she could be herself when it came to her little bird friends, She continued on ignoring the calls from her kitchen window ‘’Krista Get over hear’’!, she closed her eyes trying her hardest to block out the pleas of her mother and sisters calling her to get back into the house. She climbed up the tree the bird nest was pretty high up about 430 feet, she gulped. She loved that the birds in fact didn’t know that something was wrong with her. The mother robin lifted her wings to take flight, her little ones ready to take flight as well. In a panic Krista climbed up the tree ‘’wait for me, I’m coming with’’! She pleaded; the bird turned its head inquisitively as if it understood her. She smiled sitting on the branch, she stood up lifted her arms, and jumped.


The author's comments:
What really inspired me to write this piece is one of my family members was actually diagnosed with tourettes syndrome and i just wanted to let everyone know that you dont have to give up, this always another way to make life easier.

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