My mother was Selina. My name is Destiny. But that part of my life was over before I could even blink. It seems like yesterday that I could look into my mother’s eyes and smile. Now I cannot see her face anymore. Most times she was a good mother to me, loved me, cared for me. But others, it seemed as if she didn’t love me, didn’t care for me. We lived in a place for mothers and children who were struggling. I was too young to understand the events that were happening around me, too young to understand that I may lose my mother. I didn’t have a father figure, no one to take me in if I did lose my mother. But that all changed when my mother met the gardening volunteer.

Pam befriended my mother. The two of them talked almost everyday, she played with me almost everyday. My mother and I had gotten very close with Pam and soon I had started to call her Grandma Pam. Sometimes, I would go to her house on the weekends for sleepovers. Everything seemed to be going well, in my opinion. But it wasn’t going as well as I had thought. My mother was slowly turning worse. And by the time I had realized what was happening around me, I was going to court with my mother and Pam as a supporter. During the trial, they were deciding on what was best to do with me because my mother was unable to care for me any longer. I wasn’t sure what had been going on at all. And I was very confused. So I hung close to my mother’s side. The jury thought that it would be best to put me into foster care. Pam didn’t want to loose me and could feel how frightened my mother must be feeling. During the recess, Pam called up Richard, her husband. And asked if the two of them could adopt me. Instead of me going into foster care on my own. Pam talked to my mother about her and her husband adopting me and my mother was so thrilled. Knowing that her daughter wouldn’t be living with people she didn’t know and didn’t trust. I was really quite young and didn’t understand the intensity of what would happen to me.

The adoption process takes a very long time and by the time I was officially part of their family, I was at the age of two years old. While this process was in motion, I lived with Pam and Richard. At the final hearing to legally call Pam and Richard my parents. the judge had to specifically ask me questions. “Are you aware of what is going on? Would you like this man and women to become your parents? How are you doing? Are you all right?” Questions that I think he felt required to ask since I was at the age of two years old, the judge would think that I would be nervous. And I was, very nervous. All I could do as the judge asked me questions was nod my head. After the court session, we went back to the house where my aunt and uncle were waiting to celebrate the arrival of myself into the family. I don’t remember how long we celebrated but I do remember that we had two celebrations. The first was on the actual day of the adoption. The other was either a couple of days or weeks after when my uncle Stephen came down from Houston, Texas so see me and celebrate as well.

At both celebrations, I was wearing my red velvet dress that itched at the back of the neck because of the rough edge of the tag. I remember the black, shining shoes that I loved to wear because they clicked against the ground. It made me feel all grown up and important. But most of all, I remember the gold heart locket that my mother attached with a pin to my dress. She cracked open the locket to show me what was inside. And inside were three little pictures. My mom, myself and my dad. It was their adoption gift to me. To wear something so precious on such a precious day was overwhelming for me. And I still remember all the little details. Still, every time I think about it, I still feel the excitement that never disappeared from that day. I carry that excitement with me wherever I go. It is what gets me through hard times. Times when I think it’s so hard, but that excitement pulls me through and I do pull through.