Growing up many things can influence who you turn out to be such as family, friends, and environment. Although friends and your environment can shape who you are, family are the people who guide you and teach you throughout your life. Unfortunately, many children only have a single parent or a guardian to walk them through life. As a child I never had the opportunity to know what it was like to have a father or a mother, because I was adopted by my grandmother. Seeing other kids in school on thanksgiving bringing in their parents made me envy them and always wonder what it is like to have parents. I was finally able to find a parental connection in the year of 2015.

During my younger years I had many issues that my family was never around for, except my grandma. Hospital visits, long drives, and late nights became constants, but neither of my parents were around for this. Everything from learning how to work my monitor to visiting me when I almost died my grandparents were the only ones by my side. The responsibility was left to my grandma, after my grandpa passed away soon after I turned one, to watch over me and guide me while my parents would be with their friends doing drugs. Luckily, after four years of going between houses I was finally adopted and to this day I am more than grateful, but I was still left with a yearning to have a full family. Throughout the years with my Grandma she took me to church which allowed me to meet various people and become close to them. After sixteen years of going to church I became close to a family who treated me as one of their own. The father, Brian, and I became closer and closer because he taught my Sunday school class but he didn’t feel like a father until June seventh 2015.

On this day in June I was set to take care of Brian’s children while he did a midnight golf benefit with his wife. Brian picked me up in the late afternoon so we could have a family dinner before he headed out. As we made our way to his house outside Nicholson he gave me fatherly advice, laughed, and talked about who we both became as people throughout the years. This was the first time I felt the connection with him that he could be a father figure towards me. Once we made it through all the back roads we arrived at a stunning quaint house which looked like it was from a fairytale. When we parked his family was waiting for me outside ready to greet me and show their excitement that I was there. After everything calmed down I was dragged inside by their youngest child, Finnland, who gave me an entire tour of their house and introduced me to all the animals. She was clearly eager to have another girl in the house, other than her mother, so she decided to show me everything and anything before dinner. Even though I already have many sisters, this experience made me feel like she was my actual sister and we were bonding. This didn’t turn out to be the last time we bonded throughout my stay.

After I was given a tour of the house and bonded with Finnland we finally sat down for dinner. The table was filled with a loving family and a variety of homemade food with many hands grabbing for it, which seemed all new to me. Once we got settled their sons, Ethan and Wyatt, were starting to fight over who would get the last piece when the time came. As I listened to them bicker I realized how content I was with a full family in front of me, even though they weren’t mine. This was my first taste of how a family works in their own setting but also how welcoming they could be to a stranger. Each one of the family members stayed comfortable and acted like I was always there for dinner. A welcoming like this made me realize that family isn’t in your blood it’s who you surround yourself with. I was able to feel how love filled the table as we all settled down after getting food. I felt this when the kids were scolded by Joann for fighting, who could say the blessing, and how Brian looked at them with unconditional love in his eyes.

Once we all finished dinner Brian and Joann headed out to golf. Since I didn’t want to be controlling over the kids I asked them what they would like do next. I received a quick response of “frog catching” so they lead me towards their makeshift pond. The two boys terrorized the frogs while their sister tried to treat them like her own pets. Never experiencing how siblings interacted together I was shocked at how rough pre-teen boys can be with a six year old. Being able to watch them throw her frogs into the pond and drag her into the pond made me regret not having a connection with my siblings. I gained a type of sibling connection with the kids once the boys pushed me into the pond and we all thrashed in the water and laughed about how the seaweed tickled our feet. Later in the night once it started getting cold we went inside to watch a movie and I made the kids homemade popcorn we call laid on the couch together. After their long day the kids passed out besides me but before falling asleep Finnland hugged me and asked me to come over every day. As a girl who never had anyone except her Grandma I was more than ecstatic at how I impacted the kids and how happy I made them over the course of a day.

Ever since that day I’ve gone over their house for dinner almost each Saturday and I am blessed to have them in my life. Although I will never get these experiences with my real family that day taught me various lessons about what family is, how to love, and all the things in between. Even though some people don’t start out with you they can always guide you, either young or old.  You may fight with the ones you love and tease them but you always forgive them because their love is unconditional. Cherishing the little things might not be a constant but if you do it often you realize how important the small things actually are. Everything from driving to Brian’s house to falling asleep beside the kids and waking up with them shed some light onto what family is.

Family isn’t the people you call mom and dad it is the people you are able to feel at home with. Being able to take care of the kids and feel the joy of family and unconditional love has made me a more open person towards making connections and learn how to forgive the people who have done you wrong. This one day has shaped me into the lady I am today and I believe everyone deserves to have someone or many people they call home.