“Mornin’, Sweetheart.”

“Hey, Nanny!” I walked into my great-grandmother’s den. It was always so cozy and warm with  a little quaint television and a desk with a lamp in front of the massive arrays of books and novels with two chairs and a bed. Her chair was parked right against the windows, always giving her a view of what  was happening in her Paterson neighborhood.

I remember the chairs were always tight, but a good kind of tight, like the tightness of getting a strong hug, but I especially remember that bed of hers. Lying on it was like lying on a layer of soft, fluffy clouds. Whenever I rested my head on that bed, I always slept soundly and entered a state of pure calmness. I could only awaken by the soft and gentle touch that was my great-grandmother’s. Her hands grazed my head in my slumber, which instantly woke me up, and in my groggy state, I always heard a warm “Mornin’ Sweetheart.” escape from her smile which in turn made me smile. That’s just how Nanny was: kind and gentle. She was always smiling and cracking jokes with all of us. She read to me and read with me whenever I came to visit her. I remember the stories never been the same. From knights and dragons to the swamps of Louisiana, I would go on expeditions within my mindscape in which I was always the hero. She was just like my grandfather; they both were fantastic storytellers. I suppose that it would make sense, since she was his mother, after all.

“Hey, MJ, how are you sweetheart?” She smiled as she looked up from reading one of her books. She placed the book down onto her stool. “When did you get here?” She got up to hug me, which I returned happily.

“I just got here today. I was hanging with Pop-Pop upstairs and listening to his stories. He showed me how to make shadow puppets today, too!” I smiled widely and happily at her as I sat down, making her giggle at my childish excitement.

“Well, that sounds interesting.” She laughed before turning back to me. “So where is your sister? Did she come with you?”

“She said she wanted to hang out with Kendall first,” I explained, which made her giggle again. “They’re playing outside.”

“You young ones are so full of energy. Why didn’t you go with them?”

“ ‘Cause I wanted to hang out with you, Nanny.” I smiled at her widely and happily again, which made her smile. Making her, my grandfather, and my grandmother smile always made me happy. I grabbed the remote control and turned on the television, quickly changing the channel to my favorite channel, Boomerang, as it was 12:00, and my favorite show: Scooby Doo, Where are You? I sat in front of the television as I sang the theme song happily. Nanny would always hum along as I sang and dance, but today, she was… oddly quiet. I turned around very confused by why she was so quiet. She looked to be sleeping very peacefully.  

“Oh!” I turned the TV volume down  to let her sleep. I remember being embarrassed at the thought of ruining her beauty sleep. I turned my head around and continued to watch my program and laughed as Scooby and Shaggy were getting chased by some villain yet again. As the episode reached its climax where the gang had caught the culprit, my mother walked into the den.

“MJ! There you are! What are you doing here?” She looked at me rather upset. I guess it was because she thought I was playing with Nya and Kendall. I turned the television off and looked over to her.

“I was just hanging out with Nanny.” I put two fingers on my mouth as a warning. “Ssh. She’s sleeping right now.”

My mother rolled her eyes as she walked toward my great-grandmother. She grabbed her arm and shook it lightly. She didn’t move. My mother tried again, a bit harder this time. Again, she didn’t move. My mom grabbed her wrist; then her eyes shot wide-open as she backed away and covered her mouth. This scared me, so I got up very quickly and looked at her.

“Mommie, everything’s OK, right? Nanny’s just sleeping, right?” I looked at her confused and concerned, hoping that I was right and she would tell me, “Everything was fine. Nanny’s just napping really hard today.” However, my mother pulled me close to her as she hugged me tight.

“MJ…” Her voice was slow and it sounded like she was on the verge of crying. “Nanny’s gone. She’s passed away.”

Everything within me shut down as I look up at her wide-eyed. I didn’t say a word as I stared at her then at my great-grandmother. Then they came: the memories of her flooded my mind: The family picnic at my grandparents’ home, my first Christmas when she read stories of magical reindeer, elves, snowmen, and a man who brought toys and goodies to all boys and girls, my first recital where all of my family came to see me. They flooded my mind, and the more I saw them, the more it hurt me. My chest hurt immensely then finally they dropped: ever-flowing tears. They flowed from my eyes slowly, but they increased more and more as I looked at Nanny...No...She couldn’t really be dead...Why? Why did she leave me?!

I grabbed my mother as I scream in mournful agony. I couldn’t form words. I just cried and screamed as my mother held me tighter while she comforted me.

Nanny was my pillar, as all my family members are. My family are the world to me. Seeing her lying there in that chair and remembering it still hurts, but it’s a bearable pain now as I know that she is watching me from Heaven. Even to this day, I always remember hearing that gentle voice, waking me from my dreams

“Mornin’, Sweetheart.”