An Open Letter to Taylor Swift,

I have been a Taylor Swift fan since Our Song. Her catchy lyrics and mind blowing tour have caught the world’s attention. I start with this because this is a letter of appreciation, but maybe, a little non traditional. So let me get to the point.

Like I said I have been a Taylor Swift fan for a while. I really love her music and how emotional it is. As listeners she makes it so easy for us to bond with the themes she writes about. As she made more albums her fan base expanded. Until things changed when she dropped 1989. Something happened when she dropped that album, because all of a sudden the world stopped breathing. Her album struck a cord with so many people and all of a sudden more than ever before we were anticipating her every move with baited breath. She seemed to own the music industry and the USA. She made great music, had entertaining shows, and all around seemed like a kick ass person. She gave back, spent incomparable amounts of time with her fans. I was so impressed and happy to be a swiftie, but slowly that wow turned into jealousy. I became a jealous rage monster. I wanted to wear what she wore, have the famous friends, play to hundreds of thousands of adoring fans. She was kind, she was beautiful, she was talented, she was rich. Everything I wanted to be. I couldn’t find a way to balance being her fan with the envy I felt toward her. As the 1989 continued gaining public support I started being more and more upset.

Fast forward and shit hit the fan for her. All of a sudden all her adoring fans called her names, all of her famous friends deserted her, and she disappeared. I felt sad but also like girl here it is. Adversity. Believing she’d never faced it before. Still jealous of her but with every mean comment I was a little less jealous.

Then she dropped reputation. As per usual I loved the music, the mood, the music and emotions and once again I was back to being a jealous rage monster. Fans once again loved her, she was crushing performances, wearing designer duds. All of it. I watched the reputation era play out with baited breath again still so conflicted because I loved her and despised her all at once.

I cheered her on but it made me hate myself a little more every time. So what’s the point you may ask of me saying this? I’m I venting? Maybe. But I also realized something. I watched the reputation tour movie (which all of y’all should too) and realized something. As I was watching her perform instead of jealousy I felt like I could relate to her. Maybe she was more like me than I once realized. She made the same gestures, the same noises, and weird faces. All of a sudden it hit me that there she was. One ordinary human who had and extraordinary job. The way she interacted with her band, her singers, her dancers I saw she may be the face, but it was just as much their tour as hers. I had a major news flash; that could be me up there. Like no it coudn’t because I am tone deaf, but if I wasn’t in theory it could. Doing the same thing. She was just trying to walk through life as it was thrown to her as gracefully as possible.

I say this because all of a sudden the jealousy became awe, the anger became pride, I was amazed. Rather than comparing myself I saw that she had made something incredible, but she was still just her. A person, with aspirations, sad moments, stress, anxiety maybe even. We know Taylor Swift as the brand. As her music, what she wears, the speech’s she gives, the interviews we watch. But, we can’t know Taylor the person unless we know her. Catch my drift? The same way she doesn’t know me as a person. She could know me through my pictures and posts. But not me the person. Thinking about that I became so impressed with the relationship she had cultivated with her fans. The fact that she brings her mom everywhere because if it were me, girl me too! Instead of comparing myself to her I just admired her and thought about her as a person what it must be like. Not all the glitz and glam but rather her emotional capacity.

You may not love her music, or her look, or her concerts. But saying you don’t like her the person is impossible. You do not know her. If you had coffee one on one every week for a month than that’s a different story. But in the capacity most of us know her it is all fabricated. I mean this in so not a bad way. The way you present yourself is surely important, but the good and bad statements, the snake comments. All of it. You do not know her as a person. That is so not fair. She is only a person who makes mistakes. Cut her a break. Why are we so hard on her? Maybe because so many of us are/were jealous. Take that jealous and turn it into admiration.  If it were you what would you really do? More than 10 years into fam. Taylor, you will have a fan in me until the end of time. Your grace is admirable and your strength is unparalleled. I am so happy we have you as a representation of music, culture, and hard work.

My Best Always,

Kayla