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The Silver Lining of Insecurity
While we can be stunted by our fears, I am propelled by them. Fierce ambition and an insatiable drive are the propellors that compensate for these fears. Often times, I questioned why I did not do better. When I placed fourteen in my first cross country race, I questioned why I did not finish in the top ten; when I placed ninth in my second year, I wondered if I’d score in the top three next time. These anxieties were once deeply rooted in my personality because of competitive environments and stringent philosophies of education bestowed upon me, that gradually, they took a toll on me. Therefore, I have learned to turn these anxieties into something else—something powerful.
My enthusiasm and tenacity have come to take over these fears in the times of not knowing what will be ahead. They compel me to expand my comfort zone and take initiative. Feelings deemed pessimistic are constantly pushing me out of my boundaries to achieve higher standards. Little by little, I started to appreciate these dissatisfactions about myself and utilize them as sources of motivation. This shift in mindset forces my self-doubts into a deep metamorphosis and turns them into the armor that I now can wear – not to protect myself – because fears will still come upon me, but more like a layer of safety giving me the confidence to handle life’s uncertainties with more bravery.
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