Counseling is my place of freedom. I feel free to speak my emotions and feelings without the possibility of being judged. Lately, I have been going through some mental problems that I’m still learning about with each session. So many things can trigger my severely emotional side that I’ve never experienced before. I’m having a hard time trying to understand it all at once. I have so many questions about these feelings I put myself down about. These feelings drown in doubt in my head and I don’t know how to deal with them yet.
           

On January 14th, it had been a year since my Pop’s passing, and I’ve been struggling with that loss very badly. Many thoughts had started coming up a few weeks before that, so his loss does affect a lot of my mind. I don’t even understand how it can put me off so much since I know I don’t just sit in my own sorrow. My mind controls itself and I can’t stop it. The only thing I can do is learn to deal with these stressors in my life with help. I have to learn to control my thoughts and emotions without others instantly triggering them.
           

I have never had this much self-doubt before. I doubt my purpose in life and most importantly, my future. Those two go hand-in-hand for me. If I don’t have a future planned, what is my purpose? I’ve stressed about college since 9thgrade but decided that it’s not for me. I have no major picked out so what is the point? I’m not going to put myself through that if I have no reason to. I have many unrealistic dreams that could happen, but I don’t know where to start.
           

Many of these stressors are why I go to counseling. I pour my heart out to a complete stranger who has a different view than my family does. I continue to learn and understand myself during these stressful situations in my life. You hear a lot of negative comments about counseling but all it’s doing is helping you. For some reason, talking to someone besides your family helps so much. If you feel misunderstood, consider counseling. You can’t always be there for you in certain moments because they don’t understand which is awful. I’m slowly learning that as I continue my sessions.
           

Counseling is not bad, and I don’t care what anyone says. The room you’re talking in is safe and free. It becomes your room every session. You are doing what’s best for your body and mind by going. You’re growing as a person by learning more about yourself in a deeper way. Some people may not need this kind of help, but some do and that doesn’t mean it’s wrong. It also doesn’t mean that if you go, you’re automatically mentally-ill or clinically insane. Those assumptions are a way to scare people into not going. Listen to your body and get help. It only gets better from here.