Dancing at the end of the world I allowed myself to unwrap a gift I had restricted myself from for far too long, the gift of freedom. It was only then that I wished I hadn’t waited so long to let myself live this luxury of living free, without judgment, and smiling carefree. I could finally picture myself in the future as strong, happy, and beautiful all at once.
The sun was blazing, the saltwater and cool breeze were the perfect conditions for my beach curls to form and I was in my favorite place, the ocean. We were pulling into an island that seemed almost deserted as if it had been looted by pirates and the locals never returned. Our captain told us Anegada feels like you are at the end of the world, he wasn’t wrong. An empty playground, definitely a safety hazard, was left untouched as we passed few cars while following a map guaranteed to get us lost. It wasn’t long until we discovered people hidden in bars that we too joined in on the bar hopping and beach crawls. That evening instead of eating on the boat, we decided to eat at one of the restaurants right on the beach that was easy access to where we were anchored. The food was ok but it was the atmosphere that was notable. As the final oranges and pinks from the sunset disappeared into the night, the music grew louder. People began to start dancing, other tourists like us venturing off their boats and a few locals working the restaurant together in unison of dance. It was at that moment when I too allowed myself to dance that I felt free for the first time. I didn’t care what others thought of me, I felt confident and nobody was about to take that from me. I wasn’t going to see any of these people ever again, so I applied this knowledge to social media and school. Alike to the strangers in Anegada who witnessed my poor dance skills, it is unlikely I will see most of my high school colleagues once graduated so why should I care what they think of me? Anegada allowed me to feel free and freed me from others judgment. The island was as beautiful as the experience of navigating self-acceptance as a teenage girl in a world full of judgment.

The next adventure I faced empowered me to believe I really can accomplish anything if I put my mind to it. We had only just finished another amazing breakfast when I was told to suit up for our next scuba dive. This time it was a shipwreck, the Rhone. Intimidated by the history of the wreck but also intrigued to learn more about the lives lost at sea I was excited to explore the depths. I put my regulator in my mouth, held on to my mask and in my large flippers jumped into the sea bobbing right to the surface. Once we were all in the water we slowly descended to the bottom, equalizing often. I could easily make out the outlines of the ship as I glided the side of it, my eyes occasionally following the fishes. After about 10 minutes of calm diving, my dive buddy’s stopped. I flapped my arms around like an amateur trying to maintain my buoyancy. There was ocean life below me that I had no desire to disturb, meanwhile I was confused about why we had all stopped. My dad began tugging on me from behind, annoyed I quickly turned around to see what he wanted. That’s when I froze. I immediately realized why we had all stopped. It was then that I saw the reef shark swimming behind me. It then swam close enough that if I were to stretch my arm out I could have touched it, but I knew better than to try touch a shark. As it grew smaller in the distance we resumed our dive, observing how coral and fish have made this wreck their home over the years. Before reaching the top we needed to make a two-minute safety stop. Looking at the wreck below us another shark made its appearance as we all watched it in awe. It was obvious the shark knew he was in a stronger position than the other fish just by how he swam. The shark had almost an arrogant feeling as if he knew nobody would mess with him/ her. When we got back to the boat I was amazed I had come so close to an animal so feared. I felt small and insignificant compared to these animals that hold themselves with so much confidence. But I was not frightened. This experience truly showed me I am braver and stronger than I thought I could be. It exposed me to the underwater life and put my life into perspective. Certain things a person never forgets, I will never forget swimming next to a shark.

There truly is something magical about being on the water. Maybe it’s because I was born in July, therefore a Cancer water sign. But my theory is that it’s because it feels like freedom. The endless sea of blue, the wind blowing in your face, the lack of makeup, all tastes of freedom. As a young person in this world where technology rules over you, this was the first time I feel I now know how to let it go. Let go of the self-hate after gaining those extra pounds, letting go of that self-hate because I didn’t get the perfect AP score, or even letting go because I don’t have as many Instagram followers as most of the girls in my school. Of course, all of those things sound silly, but they are the things that control our lives, taking away from the moments that should be treasured forever. Instead of looking at social media I would look out at the stars as they seemed to glow brighter when I gave them my full attention. If I was on my phone I would have missed the rainbows that appeared in the hills after a brief cool shower. I would have ignored the colorful sunsets that were made up of all shades of oranges and pinks sprinkled throughout the sky. Or I wouldn’t have noticed the warmth of the sun against my skin, and I probably would have missed out on hearing that funny joke my brother cracked when we were actually talking. From my experiences I know there’s so much to live for and see in this vast world of colors. The future holds countless opportunities and as long as I continue to live in the present with freedom in mind, anything is accomplishable.