Dedication

I went home that night with my eyes swollen from tears. I looked inferior to my companions who I danced with for ten years. Why did they have to put me down? I whimpered to myself. My mother, whom I look up to the most, peered directly into my eyes and exclaimed, “If your heart's in it, there is nothing preventing you from working hard and getting back up to the skill group that all of your friends dance in. Turn your sorrow into hope and start today.” 

Later that night, my despair turned into irritation. I was in a fit over not being able to dance alongside my best friends this year and I knew I wanted to show my dance instructors that they made the wrong decision. I fidgeted around my room to find paper and a pen. I decided to write down what I would accomplish by the end of the year: 1) Get back up to the top. 2) Acquire the scholarship awarded to 3 people at the end of the year. 3) Practice every day no matter where you get. My determination was slowly coming out on paper. I had no idea how far I would go, but I was going to push and practice each night until I achieved what I strived for. I took the tape, slapped it on the back of the paper, and hung it up right across from my bed on the wall. 

Every day after school I would come home and see that paper. On Monday’s, I opened my computer and found a new dance online to learn for that week. It took hours of training to get all of these non-required routines down. I stood in front of the rectangular mirror in my room, studying my arms and legs as I danced and correcting myself when needed. I stretched as much as possible and worked out to get the ab strength needed for turns and jumps. Every week when I went to dance I felt more confident in myself and as if I had already improved from the last time I was there. I noticed myself stepping up to the front more and getting out of my comfort zone when I danced in a small group. I wanted to make myself noticeable to teachers, I strived for critique from them to know what I could improve on. I did not recognize how much I had advanced in my dancing at first, but after receiving a compliment from the studio director, I felt like all of the countless hours and nights of little sleep were finally paying off. 

As soon as I knew it, 8 months went by and my studio’s recital at the Pabst Theater came around. Ms. Anita (the studio director) gathered everyone on stage before the show started. “I want to congratulate everyone on a fantastic season. I have seen all of you wonderful dancers grow in your career..” I already knew it was time for her to award the scholarships for the year, my heart was expeditiously beating and my feet were tapping like a hammer on the stage floor. “The first scholarship award goes to…” I squeezed my eyes shut hoping I would be called. “Mackenzie!” My heart sank, there are still two people left, I could be one of them, I thought to myself. “And the next I will proudly give to…” Come on come on, “Julia!” Perfect. I worked so hard and now I probably won’t even get...But before I could finish my thought, Ms. Anita started again, “Now, I have never seen improvement like this before, I could tell this person was disappointed in the beginning when I selected who would be in each group, I saw the potential in this person and I understood that she had the willpower to show me up, so a huge congratulations Lauryn Dooley!” I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes, this time of happiness. I smiled the size of the world and walked up to receive my certificate. I was so proud of myself, I finally got to where I wanted to be. Fortunately, this was only one of the instances. 

After this, I went on to win the director’s choice award for the year, was selected for the national competition team scholarship, and was eventually able to dance with my friends again. 

Throughout this challenging process, I grew to understand how far hard work can get a person. I went from never being noticed when I dance to being called out almost every week for something I did well. Diligence was key for me in this time, I pushed myself harder than I ever have before, and it paid off with my end goal. I had never gone through a situation like this one before, but it was one of the most memorable years in my life.