To be continued | Teen Ink

To be continued

September 7, 2021
By sanjay_v11 BRONZE, Frisco, Texas
sanjay_v11 BRONZE, Frisco, Texas
1 article 0 photos 0 comments


Prologue:

500 words. 500 words is the limit that was given to me to express my concept of what I thought would be best fit for this essay. When I began writing I was unaware of the limit and I wrote until I came up with a product I was proud of. Then I came to know of the word limit and my product  far exceeded it. At first it seemed restrictive. The limit felt like a box I was placed in. As an artist it felt like it was my duty to  think outside that box. But then I began to think what it’d be like to be a reader of the numerous essays submitted by students around Centennial High School. My frustration began to decrease as I began to understand the responsibility you were placed with. Dear reader, I know that my failure to follow instructions may cost me a spot in your program and if it does, so be it. I simply request you read this essay to its entirety. You are in no way obligated to and if you do not find it in yourself to do so I completely understand. I just have so much more to say than 500 words and if that loses me consideration in your program, then at least I can lose with a clear conscience. But, hey, gotta do something to stand out, right? I can lose knowing that not another idea was lost and suppressed by a restriction. If you are choosing to continue to read, then I sincerely thank you and invite you along with my story.

 

Chapter/ Paragraph 1:

On December 11, 2004 my precious experience that I call life began. As a child of immigrants from India, the religion of Hinduism was forced upon me from a young age. Though in present day I identify as agnostic, the magnificent stories of this religion fascinated me. I would recite them to my friends and family, frequently acting them out. This is where I believe my love for storytelling began. It wasn’t until later that I realised film/ movies are the visual representation of storytelling. In the beginning, I didn’t fall in love with the art itself, I fell in love with its core. My hobby of storytelling elevated completely when I discovered an element that is present in many of my projects today: humour. As a kid who attended a lot of my peers’ birthday parties, I always enjoyed the presence of a clown. The earliest job I remember wanting to have was that of a clown, because a clown makes people laugh. (Though in recent years, the perception of them has gone off the rails due to things like The Joker, It, It 2 and the murderers). I used humor frequently in my stories because laughter was rare in my household at that time due to issues between my parents. As a kid, I brushed off their constant arguing, thinking every marriage had that. Little did I know what was in store.


Chapter/ Paragraph 2:

As I progressed into the real world, I was excited and hopeful for the future. Oh, how foolish I was. I quickly felt lost by middle school in this world around me of academic rigor. I was placed in an institution for higher learning called St. Marks School of Texas. My parents thought it’d be good for me, as I come from a long line of academicians. However, I could not keep up academically, and it came to show when I received a 27 on an English test. The only concept that interested me in school was that of one in West Africa. In West African culture, a griot has the responsibility of memorizing all of the stories in his community and passing them down to the griot that comes after him. This concept has always fascinated me, as memorizing and reciting stories is seen as essential in a community and is a very important duty. My parents sat me down to lecture me and finished it off by asking me if I even wanted to attend St. Marks. Now I’d been asked this numerous times before, but for the first time I answered honestly. I said no and pleaded with them to switch me back to public school. They surprisingly agreed. As I switched back to public I found more freedom to express myself through theatre/film acting. While life was looking up, I was dropped with a bombshell of news: my parents divorce. Now the divorce experience was completely different for me. My family comes from a culture where marriage is seen as an alliance and whomever you marry is decided by your parents and you have no say in the matter. Now divorces are unspokenly forbidden, so a lot of my friends and family refused to support either of my parents. Almost simultaneously, I discovered an infection in my right ankle and it was completely unprecedented. I had to get 5 surgeries on it over the course of 10 days. I almost didn’t make it. I went into septic shock and almost organ failure, but with some higher power I made it. I have since developed severe arthritis in my right ankle but I am thankful I lived to fight another day. One question in this essay was to answer what perseverance meant to me, and to be honest, it means my life. While I struggled to recover from my surgeries, the aftermath of my parents’ divorce was brutal. I saw the changes in my mom as she fought for custody. When dealing with the aftermath of a failed marriage with little to no support, it takes a large toll on a person. That toll came in the form of emotional instability. With my mom emotionally unstable I wanted to do something because it was very difficult and I wanted to do something as it was hard for me to see her cry. I began to tell her jokes and stories just to distract her from the chaos around her. It worked. I began to see her smile more. It was one of the few times in my life that I felt useful. I felt like an entertainer. I felt like a Griot.


Chapter/ Paragraph 3:

My 8th grade theatre teacher used to always say: “It's not in the tale, it's in the telling.” I’ve always loved this concept and it embodies my belief that it’s not what you say, it’s how you say it. A film is just visual tale telling and I want to improve in every aspect of film-making.. Through theatre I became more involved in film. I wondered what it’d be like to be behind the camera. I continued to pursue my newfound interest in film, since my athletic career came to an end due to my ankle. While searching for ways to take my interest to the next level, I came across the ISM program. It seemed perfect for me. Learning from the best in the industry you want to go into - what more could I ask for? General Eisenhower once said,” The smartest leaders are the ones that surround themselves with people much smarter than themselves.” Right now, I don’t have the knowledge and expertise in film to get to the level I want to achieve, but I’m willing to do whatever it takes to learn. With ISM I hope to further my knowledge in film by connecting with mentors who are currently successful in the film industry as well as to have the opportunity to work and study in active productions. Obviously,there are many aspects of film-making that I wish to improve in, especially screenwriting and cinematography. Although I didn’t expect my athletic career to end the way it did, I am glad things turned out the way they did. I’ve found passion and refuge in this art and still can’t believe what I got through to get here. When I was in the hospital I learned something. The only thing guaranteed in life is death. So I try to live my life like I did those nights I was sick in the hospital. All I want to do is get better.


Chapter/ Paragraph 4

An essential part of happiness is the ability to find the meaning in life. An essential part of film is being able to capture the meaning in life. Every shot in a production has to be filmed from the correct angle and distance in order to portray the intended concept. What would Get Out be without the iconic shot of Chris in the sunken place to symbolize how minorities feel silenced in their protest for justice in America. What would ‘Us’ be without that ending hands across America shot to note the only thing that Adelaide remembered from her childhood on the outside. I think many shots symbolize the idea or message of films and I feel like I have a lot of potential in that area. I would like to build on that and improve by understanding a mentor's reasoning and intended symbolism through each shot of production to apply that ideology to my own films in the future. If you wish to look good in front of thousands, you must outwork thousands in front of nobody. In order to reach your full potential, you must put in as much work as you possibly can, to be the best you possibly can. As an artist who aspires to be successful in a competitive field I chase after the best version of myself, rather than simply the best. Though sometimes I am motivated by other people's success, I never aim to be better than them; I aim to be the best I can be. To me, that is the embodiment of excellence: to reach the highest level of potential that I possess in this lifetime and put in all the necessary work so that by the end I leave with 0 regrets. An example can be this essay in it of itself. Majority was written between the hours of 1-4 am. The timing of when inspiration strikes is unpredictable and in many cases it strikes for me in the late night. No matter how tired I was however I always wrote what struck me no matter the time, no matter how tired I was due to an experience I had when I forgot what had struck me when I put it off till the morning. I didn’t stress about it because it is out of my control and I hate stressing about  situations out of my control but I learned from it. I use what I learned and apply it henceforth to whenever inspiration strikes me. Whether it’s an idea for an essay, a new script, a new joke or even a way to film an upcoming project I write it down. Now I don’t know if I ever will reach the level of my full potential that I long for, but I damn sure will pursue that excellence to the best of my ability.


Chapter/ Paragraph 5:

If you look at the real world examples of celebrities, many of their perceptions to the public changed drastically based on their behavior after their increase in fame and money. Martin Lawrence was waving a gun on the streets yelling, “they are trying to kill me”. Kanye West had a campaign of fans claiming they missed the “old Kanye” and he even made a song to troll those fans. One of the few people to speak out against Hollywood traps was labelled as crazy against the media and exiled from the community for a while. I have seen how things like money can change people firsthand. During my lifetime, my father has been rich then poor then rich again. In the midst of all of these transitions I have seen things such as very intense arguments with my mother that sometimes turned physical and the derailment of his mental health. To me integrity means staying true to oneself despite a number of external factors. It is personally what I want to keep no matter what happens to me. Despite all the things that have happened to me, that some may even be consider to be traumatic I still think I have stayed myself. In my core I’m still that kid who acts out stories and aspires to be a clown to make people laugh. If you chase money it will outrun you every time. If you chase success, the money will follow you. That’s why I’m not chasing money, I'm chasing success and my idea of success is to be able to tell stories by making films that I’m proud of while being able to support myself. But no matter how high I make it up the level of hierarchy in the film industry, I still always want to be that kid who acts out stories and aspires to be a clown to make people laugh.

 

Epilogue/ Afterthoughts

Now I've tried my best to treat this essay like a story and like the ending of Ferris Bueller, I have to break the fourth wall. I tried to tell my life story within this essay but unfortunately most stories finish with a “the end”. My life however, is ongoing. So unlike most stories, I’d like to give you, the reader, a say in it. I humbly hand the pen over to you and give you the power to determine what happens next, and I leave you with a “To be continued…”


The author's comments:

I wrote this for a program that I applied to called Independent Study and Mentorship (ISM). It is written to follow the prompt of the program but I was really proud of what I wrote as it encapsulated my identity so I thought it'd be interesting to submit to Teen Ink and see what happens. Hope you enjoy.


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