Don’t state your opinion. Especially on topics that you are really passionate about. As soon as you open your mouth, you will be deemed as the “angry black woman.” It is one of the most overused stereotypes to exist because “you lose your temper over every little thing.” You, as a black woman, are not meant to push back, so you will be seen as domineering if you do. Controversial topics circulating around race will come up in class all the time but just remain silent. Who cares that you believe that only black people should say the n word? The white majority in your class does not believe that, so keep it to yourself. If you speak up, they are just going to disagree with you. Maybe they are right. It is “just a word” after all.

 Don’t wear your hair natural or in braids. It is “too wild” and “unprofessional” for a school setting, and it will block other students’ views in class. They won’t be able to learn with your 4c kinks in the way. Unless you want unwelcome hands making their way into your beautiful curls, don’t wear them out. Never wear braids. Especially with extensions or color. Your day will be filled with “is that your real hair” comments from the same people who touched it without your consent when it was in its natural, “nappy” state. They will make you feel like a zoo animal. You’re exotic to them. 

Do always straighten your hair. Taking the risk of getting heat damage and ruining your gorgeous natural curl pattern is definitely worth it. You still might get the occasional question asking if it’s real or not, but there won’t be people asking to touch it or touching it without consent. Straight hair won’t hide your skin, but it will make you look and feel “less black.” Besides, straight hair looks more “professional” anyways. You will always want your hair to be straight until more black girls start coming to your private school. These new black girls embrace their blackness and natural hair like you never could. They are not accustom to being at a majority white school like you are. Their confidence while wearing their natural hair rubs off on you, so you want to embrace your natural hair too. However, when you wash it, your hair won’t curl up like it used to. You will question why you ever let yourself straighten it in the first place, but then you will end up straightening it again, so no one can see through your damage.   

Don’t develop romantic feelings for any guys at your school. If you do you’ll have to question whether he is even attracted to your race at all. With guys of all races, the phrase “sorry, I don’t like black girls” is bound to come up even with black men. They don’t like us because we’re “too ghetto,” “too dark,” and “too aggressive.” At the chance that one of the guys you like does like black girls, he is probably just referring to Zendaya. Don’t worry though. It’s “just a preference.”  

Do protect black men. You have to keep them grounded and make sure they stay out of trouble. Horrible things can come with being a black man in America, and you have to make sure they don’t become subject to any of it. You will look to them for protection and reassurance as well, but they won’t always be there for you because white people already depend on them too much. Black guys at school are praised left and right while you are put on the back burner even by them, the ones you are told to protect. Some black men will tear you down even though a black woman raised them. Regardless of how they treat you, “stick with your people” and don’t allow your fellow black men to fall into the cycle of the system that oppresses them. Their consequences will be worse than yours. However, you are both black and female in a white male dominated America. Where is your protection?