Anxiety is considered a common and simple thing amongst us though it is a highly complex and personal thing. people try to simplify it: simply saying it’s all in your head if you try hard enough and all your maddening thoughts will end. Though for me it is a twisted beast that sings sirens songs and symphonies of despair torturing you for your very being. I wish I knew a simple way to quell the unending yell and scream of terrors that may come to be. When I’m in no clear terror people seem to find an error in my way of expressing my anxiety. It is not the mere want -need for attention quite far from it. It is the wish that you didn’t feel strangers always had it. This feeling of someone constantly judging or hushing you for silence in the face of conversation is a feeling that can madden you.

When I try to speak to others I begin by having the quickening of a heartbeat the feeling of your blood pumping so fast you surely will not last this encounter making you wish for nothing more than to escape your sinking feeling of defeat. You don’t only feel the incessant beating in your heart it goes through your hand's feat head and throat. A stranger walk past you BEAT BEAT BEAT someone asks of you anything BEAT BEAT BEAT BEAT. When you try to give a response to a kind soul who spoke to you feel the beating in your throat you attempt to speak over your own heartbeat only to have your voice broken. Your family and friends seek an end to your constant surplus of thought. Think about it from my side if you had these unending criticisms in your mind you would end them without second thought would you not? You should just say what you want to say without fear of hearing the words you speak being twisted around because you can’t speak the way you want to speak when you feel like you’ve nearly drowned. The cruelest thing about the best dubbed the name anxiety Is that it takes away your speech. You lose the ability to think things and express them fully to people who haven’t experienced the same. Anxiety is an intangible thing that makes your thoughts start spiraling until you are being hurt by a thing that makes you feel you lack worth and it is truly just tiring.