I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my 16 years of living on this earth. None as embarrassing as this one. I was about 13 years old, an 8th grader at Fern Bacon Middle School and we had a thing called elective classes. For my elective class, I was a teacher’s assistant for the attendance man and the librarian. 

I remember Mr. Vue will always give me some roster sheets filled with different names of students. And I distinctly remember always having to get signatures from this one teacher. His name was Mr. Safavi. 

Now, he doesn’t like to see me because whenever he does he knows that he forgot to do his attendance…. I never liked going into his class anyways. 

It was a really decent day. The sky was blue and the sun was up high. I could smell the freshness that lived in the air as I walked to the library. 

“Hello!” the librarian exclaimed as soon as she saw me. 

“Hi,” I said back.

I quickly walked over to the stack of returned books and to my surprise there wasn’t much today. Holding the books in my hands, I scanned the bookshelf and one by one I put the books back onto the shelf. 

“Actually, I have a few students waiting for their books. Could you help me deliver it?” said the librarian. 

“Sure! Of course!” I quickly replied to avoid any awkward silence. 

“I think some of these are in p.e,” she said while scanning through the pages.

Being awkward, I didn’t know how to answer her so I said, “Oh.”

She looked at me and smiled.

“Here you go,” she said, then handed me the books. 

I walked out the door and exposed myself to the outside world. I grabbed the first book from on top of the stack and opened it. My heart… It went boom boom so fast. “Oh sh*t, here we go again,” I thought.

I closed the book shut and my heart cried louder with every step I took. Closer and closer, I was almost there. Up the stairs I went and with a couple of steps, I was already standing in front of his classroom door. I let out a sigh. “Just get it over with,” I thought. I opened the door and walked in.

All eyes on me as I walked towards Mr. Safavi. 

“Hello,” he smiled.

“Hi,” I said.

I handed him the book and he opened it to read the name. I saw a big confusion on his face, but I didn’t think much of it. At this point I was already turning around and was starting to make my way out.

“Wait a minute,” he said.

I turned to look at him and he said, “You’re not even in the right class.”

There was frustration on his face and I could feel my face burning up. The back of my neck was hot as hell. 

“Oh,” I said and quickly walked to grab the book.

The students in his class were murmuring some stuff and I’ve never felt so humiliated before. 

“Get the hell out of here!” I thought to myself. 

I rushed outside and my hands were shaking. I was so scared and terrified. I opened the book back up and then carefully read the classroom number.

 “Bruh the hell,” I murmured. I did go to the wrong class. 

On my walk to the right class, I was reliving that whole moment over and over again. There was this replay button that wouldn’t let me pause. 

In that moment, I’ve learned to always double check stuff before I give them away to people. Although that incident made me want to curl up into a tight ball and throw myself off the edge of a cliff. It made me realize something more intensely important than the embarrassment I felt. A lot of things will happen in life and they will make you feel small and vulnerable. But no matter how afraid you are, never let fear bring you down. 

I’m glad certain things happen in my life. Some of the most meaningful things I’ve learned are not from others telling me but from me going through it myself. For this reason, I walk everyday with appreciation and awareness that no matter what happens in my life, it is meant to be.