Evolving | Teen Ink

Evolving

February 10, 2023
By Anonymous

Evolving 
My relationship with my sister, Dea, is hard to explain, I’ve spent every day of my life with her right beside me. Growing up in the same environments we were in most of the time, school, at home, every sport class we’ve taken, at our beach house where I've made some of my closest friends in life; everyone seems to think we’re twins since we’re always together.  
My whole childhood, I was the more extroverted one, had more friends, wasn’t afraid to talk to people and she was the shyer one, had specific group of friends she’s stayed with her whole life unlike me who had no trouble switching schools and making new friends. In a way, we always completed each other, when she was too scared to ask for a new fork at a restaurant, her younger sister, me was always at the ready to ask or when we went to a friend's house, and she would wait meters behind me as I knocked on the door and asked if the friend could come out and play. In a sense, we’ve always completed each other but still just like most sisters, we would fight a lot. 
She was always the nice one with high morals even as a child who always tried to do the right thing and I was different, not that I didn’t have high morals or didn’t do the right thing, but I was always much more of a rebel who wasn’t afraid to speak my mind when something I didn’t like bothered me. This caused her to act like the big sister she was instead of a friend which was what I wanted her to be, whenever I did something, she would always snitch on our parents, but I never did that so it didn’t feel very nice to have someone tell on you every time you did something and have them receive no judgement when they did something, whenever we would hang out with friends, she wanted us to be home even before our parents had advised us but I wanted to be free and have fun.  
“Let’s go home, it's getting late.” 
“Mom and dad haven't even called yet,” I would say. 
“Yeah, Dea come on it’s too early.”  
Even though she was just trying to be responsible, it always bothered me how she didn’t try to act more like a child. 
This difference in our personalities always brought up little fights which led us to not have the best relationship with each other for some time, of course we were still always together and had fun, but it wasn’t the same. 
She’s always tried to be “perfect” studying all day and all night to become the best version of herself but I think sometimes she does that more to please everyone around us rather than herself, she wants to prove something to them, I never got that, my whole life everything in school came easy to me, I never even had to study, I would remember everything from class and didn’t have to look at my school books twice. This was always something I got praised for, my smarts, it was something that I just had but that doesn’t mean Dea didn’t have it as well, she was also clever, but we were just different types of clever. My parents obviously caught onto this, but them themselves, being people who excelled higher than the rest in school themselves, my mom a PhD doctor and my dad an engineer, they related more to Dea, having to study more and wanted me to become like her as well but what they failed to understand is that I always achieved everything Dea did, even more sometimes, I never stop bragging about the many more math competitions I won that we entered together, our grades were always the same, we got into the same schools, I just did it with far less work than her, but to my parents that didn’t matter, they just cared about how much work I put in in anything I do, so comparison became an issue, everywhere, this caused for us to drift even further. 
Despite all this, with time and with her getting rid of the “telling on me” attitude and not trying to be so perfect anymore we’ve evolved into actual best friends, she always tells me everything going on in her life as she states that I'm the person who knows her best out of all her friends. She has my back every day, always comes to me for a second opinion on anything and always takes that opinion as she values anything I say, I always ask her to come with me when I hang out with people because I genuinely like her being there, we still fight sometimes as she claims that I act like the older sister sometimes but even when we do act it’s nothing compared to how fun it is having a sister you can talk to about anything, even if I don’t like talking about myself, having the option to go to her does make everything better. 


The author's comments:

This is a piece i wrote about the relationship between me and my sister.


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