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Sugar Cookies
My first taste of a sugar cookie was not the greatest experience. The cookie was the type you would get at a local Target in the section where they have baked goods and ham in the same aisle. The packaging of the sweet treat read gourmet, but it was definitely not according to my tastebuds. It was beautifully decorated with a picture of Bullseye, Target’s mascot, and the label stated, “hand decorated sugar cookie”. My 8-year-old self never tried a sugar cookie and begged my mom for it. My mom told me it was going to taste horrible, but I still wanted to try it. Of course, with the little brainpower that I had at the time, I thought that “hand decorated sugar cookie” and the expensive price tag also meant that it was going to taste better than all of the other ones I’d seen. I finally managed to convince my mom into buying an overpriced, $3 cookie of a dog’s head and went to the checkout lane.
I felt the ongoing urge to rip open the plastic and take a big bite and stared patiently at the packet slowly moving on the conveyor belt. With beaming eyes of eagerness, I watched the woman scan my item and hugged the cookie tightly to my chest after she handed me the treasure that meant as much as a newborn baby. With my mouth salivating like a shower head, I ripped open the package and took a huge bite out of poor Bullseye’s left ear . While my mouth was preparing for the celebration of the breath-taking flavor of the baked bonanza, it should’ve been getting ready for the bland betrayal and the grief I would have for the funeral of my hopes in a sugar cookie ecstasy. It was the worst bite of a cookie that I've taken in my life. My spit immediately started retracting the somehow hard but mushy pile of dung,almost like a paste, that was in the corner of my mouth and the tastebuds on my tongue were rating the awful taste of the supermarket cookie like judges on an america's got talent show that hit the x buzzer and the cookie was boo-d off stage, and I started making weird faces in hopes of getting it off my tongue. As I realized my mom was right, she stared at me, feeling/looking very confused as to why I was acting like I had just got hit by a rock. I felt ashamed for wasting $3 that could’ve been used to buy something else, so I took one or two big bites and threw the mistake away at the nearest trash can. After this incident, I promised myself that I would never lay a single taste bud on a sugar cookie ever again.
I would’ve kept my promise, that is, if Valentine's Day had not come a few months later and our class had a festive party. Everyone started passing out delectable delights consisting of chocolates, gummy bears, marshmallows, and everything else imaginable that would make a dentist pass out. While I was going to town on the ring pops and sour gummy worms that had a tiny paper decorated with hearts and my name on it, I heard a crinkling noise of what seemed like a plastic case. I looked to my left, and I stood there, stunned with horror. It was a 36-pack of Walmart sugar cookies that were blinged out with sprinkles of various shades of pink that could be a sample sheet of paint at a local home depot. I saw and listened as everyone ooo’d and ah'd as the teacher strutted confidently and started passing out the cookies, row by row, like a rich woman who won the lottery and felt a wave of generosity. I shivered at the thought of the past interaction I had with that type of cookie while nervously looking around to see what everyone thinks about the taste.
Everyone was laughing and showing pleasant faces after eating what I thought were my tastebud’s worst nightmare. So, I decided to try things again. I don’t know if it was cupid that struck me that day, but I started having the need to try this cookie because of the circular shape and ballerina pink icing that looked so delightful. The cookie part itself was a muted yellow, the same kind of color you would see on an overused raincoat. It looked exquisite. I finally caved in and took a bite, and was overwhelmed by the taste of microplastics mixed with 2lbs of flour. Just as I expected, it tasted horrible and I started having deja vu of the Target cookie disaster so vividly. I was spitting out flour and crumbs on the little paper wedge that was passed out with the cookie just like a dizzy person would throw up on a plane.
As I questioned my life decisions, I wondered how a cookie could be so bland but have an awful taste, grainy but mush up when I chew and too sweet but with no flavor. I was filled with rage as I realized I had fallen , yet again, for the sugar cookie’s evil tricks and wanted to launch the half-chewed, hard disgrace of a cookie just like a frisbee across the face of my annoying seat partner like a game of catch gone wrong at the park. The frosting wasn’t creamy, the cookie was nowhere near as fluffy as I hoped, and the sprinkles were so rock hard that I almost chipped a tooth. I thought I was fully defeated from the miraculous battle of the sugar cookies and thought that I would never taste a sugar cookie that was as good as it was in my imagination, until I met Betty Crocker.
I was back at target, shopping for some essential groceries, and accidentally walked to the baking aisle. I suddenly remembered all of the cookie videos I watched the other day and started looking for the cookie mixture that I can use to make the yummiest treats of my dreams. I wanted to make colorful cookies which could make me die faster than ever, so I mindlessly grabbed the sugar cookie bag because it had no toppings and color. As I eagerly went home to bake my snack, I felt my heart sink as I realized I bought another sugar cookie, just not cooked like all of the other ones before. It was like a lego set; the making process is fun but the end result is disappointing. With very low hopes of the cookie tasting any good, I carefully crafted masterpieces with the dough so I could display it on our kitchen table until it goes bad with no intentions of eating it. I added food coloring and sprinkles galore until it looked like a minimalist’s worst fear.
I called my mom to help me bake the cookies in the oven, and patiently waited for them to finish. Every other minute, I would check on the cookies and I did it so much that I got out of breath running back and forth every time. Eventually, I heard the “ding!” and sped through the kitchen to see my finished product. While I opened the oven, I couldn’t help but notice the wonderful aroma of the freshly baked sugar cookies and wanted to try a piece, but then I remembered what happened the last two times. So, preparing for the disgusting taste, I held my breath and took a little nibble off the top of a multi-colored cookie and was astonished by the flavors that were hitting my tongue! It was sweet with a bit of savoriness to it. However, it was expected because the recipe called for a whole stick of butter. I don’t know if it was the vivid colors, but it was such a magical experience on my tastebuds. Even Disneyland couldn’t compare to this gooey goodness! I now bake these things more than twice a year, which is probably not good for my health, but if my tastebuds are happy, then I'm also happy! I’m so glad I could solve my relationship with sugar cookies because what I thought would be the worst desserts ever turned out to be my favorite.
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My name is Eileen. This piece of writing is creative nonfiction and about my personal experience. I enjoy exploring humorous problems and themes in my stories that give joy to anyone reading them.