“I’ve never told my mom this but” I’ve been around gun violence in New York my whole life. My family didn’t come from money. My mom was single dealing with 3 boys. We lived in some dangerous areas because it was cheaper and my mom couldn’t do it all by herself. She would tell me “ you're the oldest, the responsibility lies on you. You're the man of the house ”. Living in Bushwick, Brooklyn NY was really annoying. It was full of creeps, homeless people, crackheads, old men would cat call some young females, people blasting music all night and shootings happened every other night and some in broad daylight. The area was full of graffiti. The area smelled like pee all the time. There were older people sitting in front of our buildings and porches.

                My first time seeing a pistol was also my first time seeing someone die right in front of my face. My mom was at home taking care of my youngest brother and since I was the oldest I had a lot of responsibility. I would get sent to the store at the age of 8 by myself going shopping for me and my family. On my way back to the store I see a whole altercation happening.

                 I see an older black male and a younger hispanic male. They seem to be really mad at each other. It looked like a heated argument. From there the hispanic male shoved the black male and then it got physical. I'm walking down the street by myself watching everything and that's when the black male pulled out a gun and started shooting. I ran as soon as I heard the shots and I was running to the other way home which was a long way.

              Going back the long way had me return to the scene at a later time. It smelled like smoke and I felt scared. I saw a lot of police cars and 2 ambulances at the scene. I was like “ what is happening over here ”. My dad taught me street smarts. He said “ always remember where you're at. Don’t be messing around in the streets like how I did. Don’t bang don’t get affiliated with bad people. Don’t go by Nana's house by yourself, it's dangerous”. I've always known which areas were safe, what color to wear, and where to not be at. Later on white people came in and bought buildings gentrifying my area, moving out me and my family. This leads me to my journey moving to the Bronx with my grandma and grandpa.

               Living in the Bronx was really tough for me and my family. We lived in a 2 bedroom apartment with 8 different people. It was always crowded at home. The bathroom was always being used and all the hot water. The Bronx was always active. Something was always going on in the neighborhood. 

         My mom would send me and my brothers there in the summer to spend a month with my grandparents. But this time it was just me. My brothers cried their way out of going. My grandparents lived in these bad projects. The area was dirty, the elevators smelled like pee. You would see food on the floor and it was never cleaned. The buildings were just a dump. These people were dirty and loud and would leave liquor bottles everywhere. The summers in the Bronx were really hot. The sun was beaming at me. It was almost 100 degrees in New York.

            My grandma would let me and my cousins go down to the park right in the projects. Me and my cousins would bring down our razor scooters and bikes and ride it around the track. Back then the Bronx wasn’t a safe place to be at. It is still a bad place to live right now. I was doing my laps on my scooter and 5 min later I heard shots. Everyone either screaming “ oh shoot run” or everyone just running to safety. My cousin Jason was already almost 18. He picked me up and left my scooter there and we ran to the nearest store which was a chicken spot. I was screaming “ ahhhh get off of me”. I never liked getting picked up. It made me feel like a baby.  My other cousins Justin, jada, and john were nowhere to be found. When we get to the chicken spot we wait for them to come. We spent a while at the spot so the area can cool off. We ended up leaving the place around late afternoon. When we got back to my grandma's place, my cousins and I vowed to never tell our parents about this because then we wouldn’t be able to go out again.