As I look at the light coming in from my window, I realize that just maybe life isn't always going to be as bad as it is now. Right their at that very moment I placed the knife that was once in my right hand down on the bed that lay next to me. I took the note that was on the floor next to me, and ripped it to shreds.
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It reminded me of the time when my heart was torn to shreds by this boy. I was only 12 when I had my first boyfriend we thought we were going to be together forever...until our 8 month anniversary, the day he broke up with me. I still don't know why, he never gave a reason, but that really hurt me. It still hurts now even after 2 years. The pain has and never will go away.
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In my room is a black bed with silver trimming. My bedspread is red and black with a gothy floral design. It's the biggest room in the house, and it's all mine. I like it here, I feel safe and secure. Nobody can come in unless I let them in. My window shades and curtains stay shut night and day, and I always keep my light off. The dark comforts me. I don't know why but I am always left out of everything. I never get asked to go anywhere, unless you consider my mom telling me to go to school as going somewhere. I like school it gives me something to do when I am bored. I used to like talking to friends and being social but now I just keep to myself. I eat my lunch alone and I don't talk in class like everyone else does. I am not the kind of girl you would expect to see. I am always trying to be the best I can be at everything, but I end up failing. In school I used be on the honor roll but now I am failing. My constant fears and my pitied tears are causing me to fail. I don't know what to do anymore. Now that I isolate myself I find life a lot easier. I don't have to deal with cruel teenagers belittling me and making innapropriate rumors about me. It's like I am invisible now. Nobody even knows I am there. I still cry everynight before I go to sleep but theres no sense in trying anymore my life is already a failure. I like to sleep all day and stay up all night writing away my pain. If I eat at all it's for comfort not because I am hungry. It's time to get some shut eye. 'Night.