Torment | Teen Ink

Torment

March 26, 2010
By Anonymous

Fear is torment. I walk into the classroom and the fear hits me. Everything around me turns from crystal clear to cloudy. Suddenly, I feel as though all the blood from my face has disappeared. My emotion takes over me, and I begin to suffer from fear, uncertainty, and restlessness. When I am in a new place and with strange people, I become a different person. I aware of everything around me yet, my surroundings are blurry. Too terrified to look anywhere or make any noise, I am fixed in my place. Swallowing becomes a difficult task, and when accomplished it sounds like a bomb exploding in my ears. My gaze is blank. I look at no one. Eye contact with anyone or anything is a torture that I try at any cost to avoid. I finally dare to look someone in the eyes, I freeze! My heart beats as though I just ran a marathon. My hands begin to sweat. Speaking is impossible, and when I attempt to say just a word I fail. My voice is lost somewhere, and finding it becomes an impossible task.

Every smell seems overbearing. My nerves force me to distract myself; so I smell, hear, and feel as much as I can. I can smell the overpowering flowery perfume of the girl next to me, and the alluring cologne of the guy behind me. The air feels suffocating and inescapable. Beginning to feel trapped, I struggle to breathe, and my breath is hoarse and uneven. I hear the chatter of people around me. A girl is squealing about her plans tonight with a guy, while someone else is babbling about the latest football game. If only I could be released from this agony.

I daydream of escaping my prison. In my dream, I dashed out of the room and sprint to the nearest place I feel safe. At this paradise, I become alive again, and all my anxieties have passed. Suddenly, I come back to reality! I hear the piercing bell that informs me I can truly leave my place of anguish.

Instead of running, I slowly walk out of the room. With a smile on my face, I breathe a sigh of relief and thank God I’m free. The smile quickly fades when I realize I am on my way to my next class.



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