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My Black Hole
Black hole. –noun. Astronomy. A theoretical massive object, formed at the beginning of the universe or by the gravitational collapse of a star exploding as a supernova, whose gravitational field is so intense that no electromagnetic radiation can escape. Have you ever felt like you’re being sucked into a black hole, with your life, with your family, with your friends? Sometimes it feels that way for me, as well. Being a Christian in the LDS community is my black hole.
Mormonism is a big part of Utah. In 1847, on July 24, the Mormons settled in Utah. They had been traveling for over a year. They left their hometown in Illinois because Joseph Smith had been killed. People in Illinois judged them for their religion and in the end, Joseph Smith was murdered. Therefore, they traveled to find new settlements where they could have a fresh start. I think the Mormons in the twenty first century need to think about Brigham Young and all the Mormons. They traveled incredibly far because they were judged and they wanted a new start. Every day, I feel like someone LDS is judging me. Therefore, Mormons, should think about their past and apply to themselves now.
A few years ago, I wasn’t even aware of Mormons. I was attending SJB Middle School, a private school. In seventh grade, I transferred to another Middle School. That’s when I really found out about everything: wards, young women’s, young men’s, conference, testimonies, girls’ camp, scriptures, temples, etc. At first, nothing bothered me about it. Most of my friends were LDS, and they seldom talked about it. Except, when the subject came up, everything I believed was suddenly wrong. Whoever I was talking to would say what they wanted to say on the subject and then when I tried to give my point of view, they would tell me I was incorrect and their church was the only right way. I even went to girls’ camp one year. My friends who invited me convinced me into thinking it was a camp just for girls. When I got there, I realized that was not the case. I was the only non-Mormon girl in the camp. The entire week I spent there, I was pressured to say prayer, to bear my testimonies, to read scriptures, and my leader even gave me the Book of Mormon. This was very disrespectful to me. I was trying to be forced to do things I didn’t want to do. Another time, when with my friends, we got on the subject of the afterlife. My friend spent over ten minutes describing everything she believed. I began to say my beliefs on the subject and she said to me, “I know my beliefs are right, and yours are wrong.” Although they have their own beliefs, Mormons shouldn’t judge me for mine.
Every day the Black Hole in my life gets bigger. I feel like anything I say has no gravity and it’s being pulled into the hole. I think Mormons should respect everyone else and not judge.
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