i sat in the ER, waiting for the results of the blood test. the doctor walked in and asked my mother to please come with him into the hall. about 10 minutes passed and my mother came back in tears. i knew at that moment, it wasn't good. i never knew a small lump on my shoulder could turn into such a big throbbing mass under the skin. making my neck and shoulder look doubble their normal sise. the doctor then looked at me, his eyes filled with sorrow. "miss reash... you have lymphoma..." he walked out. i looked at the floor and shook my head. "no... no!" i began to cry. "how could this happen to me?" i asked my mother. who was now hugging me and letting me sob into her chest. about 2 hours later they put me on a streacher and sent me to the hospital across town. it took an hour to get there by ambulance. once i got there they immediately rolled me into the opporating room. i was allready under a drug that makes you loopy. but they knocked me out the rest of the way for the surgurey. Next thing i remember is waking up in a room, in a small bed with a tube down my throat. my mother was in the chair next to the bed and she looked at me. i smiled slightly and a tear ran down her cheek. i allways heard about the ICU on health channels. its where the patients with bigger problems went for treatment. about a week later, i was transported to a room on the floor above ICU. it was a nice room. it was big, and had two walls with nothing but windows, i loved it. the next day my oncologist (blood doctor) walked in. he told me about the desiese and that i would have to get chemotherapy. i sighed, because i knew that the side effects would change me drasticly. the vomiting, nauseua, headaches and constipation i could deal with. but when my hair started falling out... thats when i broke. i loved my hair, but i knew that in order to get better it would all come out. but atleast it will grow back. or atleast they say it will. durring chemotherapy, they must activate a mediport in wich was inserted surgicaly into my chest about a month prior to treatment. they take a needle with a device at the end and a tube coming out of the device, and put it through the skin into the mediport. it dosn't hurt at all, if you can deal with a little pinch. they then flush the port with saliene solution. it gives a funny taste in the back of your throat that tastes like how windex smells. they then check for blood return, wich is when they take some blood from the port. the drug is then injected into the port slowly. if they go to fast the drug will cause a reaction in your body that could harm you. then after about 20 minutes of getting flushed and getting drugs injected into me. they take out the needle, then i'm done. today, i am a happy 14 year old girl with no fear of this desiese. because i know, that with my good attitude, nothing will bring me down.