I’d been having a pretty good morning, up until I had to walk up the stairs to my Chemistry class.

I mean, sure taking three whole flights of stairs in about 95 seconds is agonizing, but after two years, I’m pretty used to it. But no—no, that wasn’t the problem. I hitched my backpack up onto my shoulders where it had slipped and held the door open for all the people behind me. I greeted a friend, who hurried me through quickly, and that is when the real agony began.

As you can see, it’s been at least a half hour since the hole in my heart ripped out its stitches and decided to bleed itself to death again. I really didn’t think I’d begin to feel even the slightest nudging of this kind of pain this early in my life. But it struck me like lightning coated in fire, dipped in acid, hurling at me like the curveball I never saw coming. So here I am now, sitting in my seat, trying not to break down. I had absolutely no idea you had this kind of power over me.
I keep flashing back to that moment in the hallway, when my heart literally broke all over again.

It was like a car crash.

First I turned the corner blind, completely unaware that you were standing right behind my friend. And then a split second later, there you were. And there I was. Our eyes collided like the fenders of speeding cars, but you were driving over the speed limit. I tried to swerve, but I couldn’t avoid your beaming headlights. It was like you turned them to full blast just for me.

Then the damage started. I walked away, totaled by the crash.

My heart sped up, slowed down, sped up, slowed down. I walked into my classroom like a zombie, sat down like a brick of lead, and was as quiet as a mute. All I could see was your eyes. Blue, piercing, cutting, tearing, emaciating blue. I saw them behind my lids, on my desk, in the reflection of the sky. It happens every time I see you. I cannot get you out of my head. No matter how hard I try.

Our eyes collide like a fender bender, but only for fleeting seconds.

You’re like the sun; I can’t forget about you, you’re always there. Even if you’re hidden behind clouds, I can still feel your presence trying to escape from the shadows. I see the same notions running through your face. You see me like the sun; bright, and always there. But average, nothing special. No matter how hard you try to push me away, I will always come back; will always be there.

Just like tradition, we share unspoken words. Unspoken words that we can’t even speak to ourselves. Just like tradition, your eyes seem to find my soul without even trying. Just like tradition, my heart speeds, speeds, speeds like a 4-wheeler about to collide with a brick wall. And just like tradition, I fall this much for you each and every time.