A Change of a Lifetime
*Name has been changed
TICK TOCK, TICK TOCK, TICK TOK
I was waiting patiently for two minutes to pass by. Two minutes, which seemed like two years, finally passed and I heard a BEEP BEEP BEEP on my timer. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and looked down at my hands. The first thing I saw was a little red (+) sign. It felt like my heart stopped. I was in shock. I couldn’t believe I was actually pregnant. Me, *Alexandria* “Lexie” Rose Stewart, a junior in high school.
I couldn’t figure out how I got pregnant. Well I knew the first step, but I couldn’t figure out how it could happen to me. My periods weren’t normal. I could go a couple months at a time without having it. So I thought that could keep me from getting pregnant. Man was I wrong.
I started to think back to see if I could determine when it could have happened. I remember that I missed my period one month but I thought it was no big deal. Then I realized I was getting sick and puking every morning. Then it dawned on me that it was morning sickness. I also noticed I was beginning to feel tired all the time for no reason and I needed to use the restroom a lot more often. I had gained weight but my weight is always rising and falling. My weight is always changing. My body is really weird so I thought all the random things that were happening, was no big deal. But I guess I did learn something in my Child Development class. I just didn’t listen to the whole abstinence part. We didn’t use protection the one time. I was thinking my abnormal periods were a good enough contraceptive. The one time you think it won’t happen to you is the time it’s most likely going to happen.
I was an emotional rollercoaster. I was happy because I was going to be a mom. I was scared because I’m only 16 and I wasn’t sure if I could handle the pressure of being a teen mom and the pressure of being a high school student, I was sad because I would have to give up cheerleading because I knew I couldn’t cheer while I was pregnant. I would gain weight and my uniform wouldn’t be able to fit anymore. I knew telling coach I was done would be hard to do, but I had to do it. I was scared because I didn’t know what my parents would say. I was scared to know what my friends would think. I was worried because I didn’t know if my boyfriend, *Alex*, would freak out and leave me or if he would do the right thing and stay with me to support me. I felt ashamed because I was a cheerleader and I’m supposed to be setting an example for all the little girls that look up to me. I knew that when they would find out, they would be disappointed in me. I was ashamed because I had sinned but I guess this is part of what God has planned for my life. I always remember that everything happens for a reason, and I know God has good intentions for me.
Being a kid and having to tell my parents and boyfriend that I was having a kid was probably going to be the most difficult and scary thing I would ever do. But somehow I managed to gather enough courage to break the news to Alex, my boyfriend. I decided to tell Alex the news first because, well, he is the daddy. I was hoping he would be okay with the news and he could be with me so I wouldn’t have to break it to my parents alone. I could use him to practice how I would tell them. It was already late at night so I decided I would wait until morning to tell Alex.
The next morning, I called Alex to see if he wanted to go have breakfast with me. He agreed and I knew this would be the perfect time to tell him. He came and picked me up at my house and then we went to a little coffee shop in town. We sat down, ordered our food, ate, and afterward we sat and talked for an hour or so. I told him that I had something to tell him and I didn’t know what he would say. He asked me if I was breaking up with him and I said “No, of course not. I love you with all my heart.” I looked up at him and said “I’m just going to come out and say it.” I looked down at my stomach and I guess he got the hint. He was like “Oh my God. Are you serious? You can’t be. I thought you couldn’t get pregnant?” I told him I was serious and pulled the test out of my purse and showed him. This proves that I indeed can get pregnant. He took it a lot better than I thought he would. He asked me what I planned on doing, meaning having it and putting it up for adoption, having it and raising it myself, or having an abortion. I told him I was definitely not having an abortion. The baby should die because of two teens’ careless mistake. I told him we needed to go to the doctor to get it confirmed. I had already made an appointment the night before. So before lunch, at 11:00, Alex and I went to the clinic to confirm my pregnancy. I had to fill out some papers and had some tests done. We waited and waited and finally the nurse came back with the results. “Miss Lexie, I’m happy to tell you that the results are positive and you are in fact pregnant, about 6 weeks. Congratulations.” She talked to me about all the things that I should and shouldn’t do while pregnant. In a way I was kind of sad to hear I was pregnant. I was hoping the pregnancy test was false and I was just getting sick. Honestly I wasn’t ready to be a mom. But I knew I would raise the baby and be the best mom I could be. I told Alex we needed to go to my house so we could break the news to my parents and then we could sit down and talk about our options.
Alex drove me home and we went inside. I told Alex to just sit on the couch and I’d go upstairs to get my parents. (They both had an office where they work upstairs.) I nervously walked upstairs to their office. I got myself together so I wouldn’t look so afraid when I started talking to them. “Mom, Dad.” I said. “Can you come downstairs for a minute? I have a surprise for you.” They both agreed and they followed me downstairs into the living room. I sat on the couch beside Alex and held his hand while my parents sat on the sofa a few feet away. “Mom, Daddy, I’m really not sure how to say this, but…I’m pregnant…with Alex’s baby. Mom was breathless and dad was speechless. I told them I was sorry and we had always used protection except the one time. I explained the whole abnormal periods thing and my hypothesis of it being a contraceptive. Let’s just say that my dad knew a lot about my female problems after it was all said and done. They weren’t mad. They took it a lot better than I thought they would. I figured they would try to kill Alex for getting pregnant, but they didn’t. Thankfully he is still alive and still with me. My parents were just disappointed in me because they knew that I should know better. They asked me if I knew what I wanted to do. I told them I was 100% against abortion and the only way it would happen was if something was putting my life and my child’s life at risk. I told them I didn’t want to give my child away but then again I wasn’t sure if I could raise a baby by myself. I asked them if they would be willing to help me take care of it for a couple months or until I could save enough money to find a cheap apartment. She never said I had to move out. I decided that for myself. They agreed to take care of the baby while I was in school, and then after school, it would be all me. I was scared but I knew I could do it.
I’m not sure what Alex is going to do. I’m 4 months along and he hasn’t proposed or anything. I have asked my parents if they were okay with me marrying him if he were to propose. They were totally okay with it. I’m going to start getting pretty big before long, so he needs to hurry up and ask if he’s going to, that way we can plan a wedding. He doesn’t have to marry me yet. He could just move in with me in the apartment. I don’t know if he plans on moving in with me, proposing, or just staying with his parents. I do know that he’s going to stay around to be in the baby’s life. He has already found a job, so things are looking pretty hopeful.
Most people ask me if anything in my life has changed since I’m a pregnant teenager. I tell them that my life is still the same, except I’m gradually getting bigger and bigger. I’m not huge, but you can definitely notice the baby bump. School is the same. Everyone still treats me as if I weren’t pregnant, but there are the occasional times when students and once my child development teacher, asked if they could feel my belly. I’m not sure why everyone wants to touch it, but I let them just so they’ll shut up. Mine and Alex’s relationship is still the same. He still treats me the same. He loves to cuddle with me while watching movies and he will rub my belly. He is just so sweet. He apologizes for all the stress he’s put on me, and says he should have used protection. I always tell him its okay and it’s my fault too. I shouldn’t have done anything knowing we were unprotected. I honestly think we have grown closer since I got pregnant, but this isn’t really how I wanted us to get closer. I tell him that I love him more than anything in the world and I’m so lucky to have him in my life.
I go to the doctor every two to three weeks for a checkup. I need to go more often because of my age and because I’m a really skinny girl, so the doctors want to make sure everything is okay. Alex usually goes with me if he’s not busy working. At school the next day after every checkup, all my friends ask if I know whether the baby is a girl or boy. I always tell them it’s too early to tell. Alex and I have decided that we want it to be a surprise and we don’t want to know the sex of the baby until he or she is born. We already have names picked out, but they could change. Alex wants a boy and I want a little girl. So we have decided if the baby is a girl, her name will be Aubrey Faith Stewart-Smith. If the baby is a boy, his name will be Austin Josiah Stewart-Smith. Smith is Alex’s last name. Stewart is mine. We haven’t decided if the last name will be after Alex or not. I kind of like having both last names. We will decide when the baby comes. He or she is due April 16, 2011. I get more and more excited for my little bundle of joy every day. I will let you guys know when I have the baby.
I advise all you young high school girls to wait until after you graduate and go to college before you have sex and get pregnant and start a family. If you have any dreams, you won’t be able to follow them. So follow your dreams, and then worry about a family. It may seem easy to juggle high school, being pregnant, and having a job, but trust me it’s not. Just remember, ABSTINENCE is the key.
Having a baby while still in high school wasn’t my original plan. It has opened my eyes about life. It’s hard but you have to work for the things you want. Life’s not easy, I know you will have to face different obstacles, and that’s okay with me. I like having to do things for myself and not having them handed to me. I had dreams I wanted to follow. This is just a little bump in the road, but I’m so thankful that I have such a supportive family. I know I won’t be able to do this without them.
After all, having a baby is A Change of a Lifetime.