After hearing my best friends last breathes on the phone i didnt know what to do. Suicide had never affected me until the day it me like a fret train. Suicide is now a part of me. I cant let it go. My story isnt a story of my attempt at suicide, its not some story that has no personal info in it and is just explaining how suicide affects everyone arround you, my story is the story of how i saved a life. My text may be jumbled once you get to the end. But my story is real. My story just happen. This story will affect me for the rest of my life.

The way it began...well i knew my friend was suicidal i had almost lost him maybe a month before and didnt even know. Yea his almost death hit me hard, it made us closer, but it didnt prepare me for the day i got his text saying...im trying to do it again. I broke down in work i called him instantly asking him to please hold on, asking where he was, trying everything to save him...all he said was im sorry i love you and hung up...i collpased in the middle of the street and someone found me, she called the cops for me asked for his name and number, i gave her everything she needed and just sat there. my eyes wide and blood shot, my heart was pounding so hard i could hear and feel every pump, nothing felt real, nothing made sense, i didnt know if he was gone..i didnt even know what led to this, i had chills, i was hot, i couldnt move, I WAS NUMB. Eventually i got a call from the police saying they found him and he was okay...but all i could think of was..hes going to try again i know him and third time...third time may be the charm. i called him to see if he was okay. but he was mad at first because i called...i just wanted to help. Anyway to jump ahead i went to see him and talk and just hug him seeing him was unreal. i was happy he was alive, but it killed me inside when he kept saying he couldve seen Josh. ( someone who had previously commited suicide and basically his brother. WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT. i couldnt stop apologizing. neither could he. THIS NIGHT THIS ONE NIGHT is still causing me nightmares and its been a few weeks. it is still heavy in my heart. i saved someones life. someone i never knew i cared so much about until he was lamlost gone. i lamost heard his last breathes. i wouldve known he did it before anyone else....yes its selfish to say but i wouldve lived with the thought that i knew i heard his last words,his last breathes...i heard his life slipping away. NO ONE WILL EVER UNDERSTAND WHAT THAT FEELS LIKE UNLESS IT HAPPENS TO YOU.

Basically the point of this is to say. PEOPLE WAKE UP. if you dont take suicide seriously you can lose someone extrmly close to you. YOU COULD LOSE SOMEONE YOU NEVER KNEW YOU CARED SO MUCH ABOUT. i never took suicide fully serious. i know its selfish act but you cant sit there posting on facebook, writing on twitter, talking about it, or anything else about how all these suicide victums are selfish. WHO WANTS TO HEAR THAT. you could be the one post that drives that person over the edge, YOU COULD BE THE REASON A PERSON TAKES THEIR LIFE AND YOU WILL HAVE TO LIVE WITH THAT. and if anyone is even thinking about suicide please talk to someone honestly. FIND SOMEONE LIKE ME. someone who will listen and do whatever they can to save your life. there is someone who cares even a complete starnger. I only knew this person less then a year we never talked much outside of our one class we went to lunch once and we hadnt talked really for months but the second he told me i was there. JUST FIND THAT ONE PERSON. that one person you wouldnt wanna lose and hopefully they dont wanna lose you. IM STILL HELPING MY FRIEND THROUGH EVERYTHING. SOME OF THE THINGS HE SAYS EVERYDAY BREAK MY HEART BUT IM THERE. please find your reason to live and please just dont do it. get help. life is beautiful. and just think this pain you feel is only for now even if it has been happening for months...YOU WILL SURVIVE AND SOMEONE OUT THERE CARES.
Im sorry if this is jumbled up but its a real touchy subject now. but someone needs to be the one to speak up for everyone..and today i guess im that one