I lived a carefree life bullshitting the AP tests, thinking "it's time to chill". I was wrong. I didn't know. Brain Cancer won the battle against my Dad while I was carelessly doing these tests. May 17th to May 20th, 2012, I was living in the black.

My heart was shredded as it sunk into an endless abyss. My entire being was consumed by regret. My soul was filled with sadness. My life was just unbearable.

I wanted to be with him, to hear his voice. I had no way to. I lost contact years before. I lived as optimistic scum rarely thinking about him, but thinking s*** would get better. Then his cancer took him.

To live for those that have passed away, to experience what they no longer can, and to live past my extent. The pain. The happiness. The sorrow. Every feeling, I will take upon myself for the loved ones I have lost. The depressing thing of it all is the loss of my Dad was what completely molded my decision to be cemented into my life.

I shoulder this task, as I resume my optimistic way of living.

RIP Freddie, I Love You Dad.